Wiregrass Church
What we think we say and what others hear don’t always match up. Understanding your temperament and the temperaments of those around you is key to successful communication. In this message, Clay Scroggins and Kathleen Edelman walk through the four temperaments and show how understanding them will improve your communication.
"You heard what? That's not what I said."
"Well, that's what I heard."
How to avoid miscommunication.
Communication is not just about what's said.
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It's also about what is heard.
Communicating is about conveying information, passing on information from one person to the other.
Miscommunication has caused all kinds of problems in the world.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths...
...but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29 NIV
Ephesians 4:29 NIV
Any communication that you are giving to someone else, verbal or nonverbal, idea, word, thought, any of it, if it doesn't build the other person up according to their needs, then it's not going to benefit them, and it will eventually become an unwholesome word that will destroy.
We must learn to communicate in their language if we're going to lead others well.
We must learn to communicate in their language if we're going to love others well.
Why do the same words land differently for different people?
TEMPERAMENTS
Communication and temperaments are all down the guidance of Ephesians 4:29.
Personality
WHAT?
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Temperament
WHY?
There is absolutely a difference between temperament and personality.
Personality is a snapshot of behavior or feelings or emotions at a certain time. It's the what.
Temperament is the why behind the what. It's the why behind the feelings or the why behind the emotion or the why behind the behavior.
EXTROVERT: Your thoughts and emotions go outward. >> Yellow & Red
INTROVERT: Your thoughts and emotions go inward. >> Green & Blue
TASK-ORIENTED: Prefer a task over people. >> Red & Blue
PEOPLE ORIENTED: Prefer people over tasks. >> Yellow & Green
Three Keys to The Words You Choose
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1. Your temperament determines the words that you speak.
Yellow: People & Fun
Red: Power & Control
Blue: Perfection & Order
Green: Calm & Harmony
YELLOW
Often speak with animated, fun, and people-oriented words.
RED
Often speak with bold, confident, controlling words.
BLUE
Often speak with detailed, judgmental, and thoughtful words.
GREEN
Often speak the language of easy-going, unenthusiastic, or patient words.
Three Keys to The Words You Choose
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2. Your temperament determines the words you need to hear.
NEEDS
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Yellow: Approval / Acceptance / Attention / Affection
Red: Loyalty / Sense of Control / Appreciation / Credit for Work
Blue: Safety / Sensitivity / Support / Space & Silence
Green: Harmony / Worthiness / Lack of Stress / Respect
These core motivating needs separate temperament from personality.
Three Keys to The Words You Choose
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3. Understanding the temperaments changes every conversation.
When you speak, on your tongue lays the power of life or death. So your words that you give life to are a choice.
- Initiate the pause.
- Give grace.
- Celebrate the difference.
No temperament is better than any other.
This is a guide in communication.
We just want to function in our strengths because that's where our calling and purpose sit.
Ephesians 4:29 NIV
Every word that you use is a word that you choose.
Never use your temperament as an excuse or as a weapon.
