Welcome to Waymaker Church! We are so excited to have you join us today! We exist to Encounter, Live for, and Advance the Kingdom of God!

This morning, we are beginning a series entitled insta-family where we will be diving into snapshots of a healthy family. In the series we are going to look at four key areas, Kingdom parenting, healthy dating, healthy marriage, and single but satisfied.

In the passage, leaven represents the influence of the kingdom of God that is intended to gradually spread throughout the dough (our lives) ultimately bringing transformation to the larger whole (total life).

Remember that we have taught you that a kingdom has four things: Person, Place, Power, and Culture. Like the working of leaven in the dough, we want the transforming influence of the culture of the kingdom in every aspect of our lives including our homes.

The first area we are going to talk about in this series is Kingdom Parenting. How many of you would agree that parenting is one of the most rewarding and difficult things you will ever do?

From the first time they say mama or dada, role over, sit up on their own, begin to stand, or take that first step. How the about the first time you hear them laugh! Then as they begin to grow up, the toddler years (which were some of my favorite) filled with endless wonder, or the beginning of school. Followed by the craziness of extra curricular activities.

The joy that comes as you watch the milestones of their achievement is difficult to describe but so rewarding! Yet simultaneously parenting is one of the most difficult endeavors in life. The realization of the responsibility of stewarding life while you’re still trying to figure out your own.

Your filled with uncertainties about the future and the pressure to provide. You find yourself in uncharted waters that at times can leave you feeling overwhelmed. Each stage of your child’s life revealing layers that your uncertain how to navigate, or the less than joyous reality of having to bring discipline and correction when they are out of line.

What do we need to navigate parenting successfully?
The culture of the kingdom.

Kingdom parenting will always start with you. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, (mind Mark 12:30), and strength. All these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.

Before you can teach your children effectively, you must first teach yourself. The simple truth here is that you cannot reproduce in others what is not in you. We know that the old phrase “Do as I say, not as I do” does not work well. You may teach what you know, but you will always reproduce who you are.

God places parents in leadership roles over their children to raise them to be lovers of Jesus, healthy adults, good citizens, and loving parents themselves. Children were never intended to raise themselves.

Proverbs 22:15 says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.”

Godly leadership in the home is about modeling and setting proper boundaries. Model what is acceptable, convey the expectations and correct when things get outside the boundaries. The strength of modeling the expectations is that you remove hypocrisy. You are not asking your kid to do something that you yourself don’t do.

As a parent, your ultimate goal is to work yourself out of a job. While you never really stop being a parent, your role changes as your children grow and mature. You ultimately become less authoritarian and serve more as an advisor or confidant, and even a friend to your adult children.

The instruction of the passage in Deuteronomy 6 is to model, teach, talk, walk, and write. Knowledge and understanding are gained through repetition over time. This is true for all areas. People who have mastered a skillset, subject, or craft have done it through many repetitions over time.

Whether its adhering to family values, learning how to function in society, or gaining an understanding of faith in Christ. We will have to model it, teach it, talk about it, walk it out, and write it by putting it into application.

The greatest challenge is to model because it requires you to adjust and confront the areas of your life that are outside the needed boundaries.

For your children to mature you will need to teach them. Teach them the word, how to treat people, to be disciplined, how to handle money, etc.

Teaching is always followed by talking because you know that there are going to be questions. When your kids are toddlers, their most often asked question is one word, WHY? Don’t get mad or frustrated at the question, utilize the opportunity to create understanding while they are inquisitive.

Research shows that a significant portion of core values are established by the age of seven. They may continue to develop and refine throughout adolescence and early adulthood, but the core foundation is established early. Take the time to talk about life.

After you model, teach, and talk, you must walk it out. This deals with lifestyle. James 1:22 “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” When you put lessons into practice you mature. The practical application of what you have learned gives your opportunity to gain wisdom and understanding.

The last instruction of Deuteronomy 6 was to write it on the doorpost of your house. This deals with culture. Essentially, your making sure who we are, what we do, what is expected, and how we carry it out, is front and center with clarity. We don’t leave room for alternate interpretations, we model, teach, talk, walk, and write. We clearly define the culture that we will live by.

One important note about culture:
If you choose not to define it, someone else will.

I want to close this message by looking at what kid’s need from parents.
1. Love. Children need hugs, physical contact, words of encouragement, affirmation, and quality time. All of these communicate love. In our busy world, remember to create margin for your home. Yes, you want to excel at your career and provide well, but don’t empty the tank before you get home.

Love helps to break down barriers and walls we can’t see with our eyes. Children are not a burden; they are a blessing. Psalm 127:3 “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.”

Your love shown by time and interaction are vital. Can I encourage you to not withhold love? Love is not the same as acceptance. You can love your child and not accept their actions. Don’t use love as a reward for doing right. God’s love for us is not conditional, and we need to model that for our children.

Moms have a natural nurture when it comes to love, but I also want to encourage dads as well. Your children need these things from you too. Yes, our primary roles are to protect, provide, and discipline but don’t forget to love well. Be present with your family and engage with your children.

2. Discipline. Proverbs 13:24 “He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.”

Discipline is about training to improve strength or self-control. If we spare the rod of correction, we empower the foolish behavior that may destroy our children later on. Undisciplined children become undisciplined, obnoxious adults.

Discipline is about correcting behaviors and thought processes that go against the culture of the home and the kingdom of God. Discipline always envisions a better future for the child.

If we love our children, we will discipline them promptly. I am not talking about running a boot camp, but consistency in discipline is key. You must follow through with what you say. If you say your child has to go to their room if they do that one more time, and they do it again. You need to follow through with what you have said.

Consistency is king. The actual consequence is less important than the consistency of having consequences when they misbehave. When you fail to follow through with consequences, you are choosing to reinforce the behaviors you don’t want.

There is a difference between discipline and abuse.
Colossians 3:21 “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” We are not looking to tear down our kids but build them up. We are expected to walk in the fruit of the spirit having self-control. Make sure the punishment is fitting for the offense.

I think one of the greatest gifts you can give your child is to remember your own childhood. Don’t assume the intent of why you child did what they did. Remember your own struggles at the same age. Ignorance requires instruction, rebellion requires discipline. Aim to be kind, firm, and consistent.

3. Guidance. As a parent, it is in your job description to teach your children about life, guiding them in all areas, especially in God’s Word.

Guiding your children may also mean allowing them to make mistakes. When a mistake is made by your child be prepared to be disappointed with their choices and behaviors but also recognize that they are not the mistake.

Failure is part of the process of growth. Love takes the time to walk through the mistake by giving guidance on what’s right and discipline to gain self-control for a better future.