Week 4

Text: Ephesians 4:17–5:2

Topics: Truth, Forgiveness, Unity

Big Idea of the Message: Your identity in Christ changes how you interact with others—even how you disagree with them.

Application Point: Start practicing forgiveness today by thinking of one person you need to forgive and one person you need to ask forgiveness from.

Introduction:

Welcome Legacy Church, we are in our last week of the series Bringing It To The Table. Where we have been learning how to have those difficult conversations. In week one we learned how important it is to approach these conversations with love and grace, allowing Holy Spirit to guide our words and actions. In week 2 of this series, we explored the impact of cultural differences on our interactions, recognizing that while our backgrounds may vary, our unity in Christ provides a solid foundation. We learned that amidst culture shocks and disagreements, our shared faith acts as an anchor, reminding us of the love and truth we hold in common. Last week, we discussed the importance of living authentically, ensuring that our actions reflect the values we profess. We weighed in on the idea that our commitment to truth means being honest with ourselves and others, even when it's challenging. As we strive to embody the teachings of Christ, our integrity becomes a testament to our faith and fosters deeper connections within our community. This week, we'll focus on how our identity in Christ influences the way we handle disagreements and conflicts. As believers, we are called to approach these situations with humility and compassion, allowing our faith to shape our responses. By embracing forgiveness and understanding, we can transform disagreements into opportunities for growth and unity within our community.

Wildfires are powerfully destructive forces. They can burn through entire communities at shocking speeds, traveling up to fourteen miles an hour and decimating everything in their path. Some wildfires are treated with controlled burns, but it only works because it burns away the brush and trees that can fuel wildfires. In other words, it attempts to stop a larger fire, but it still requires destroying plants in the process. So the common saying “You can’t fight fire with fire” might need to be modified when it comes to literal forest fires. But it still holds true in how it’s usually used: a warning against adopting destructive tactics to fight evil. In this passage from Ephesians, Paul warns Christians against fighting fire with fire, using the weapons of the world in fights Christ already won.

Embracing a Different Way of Living and Engaging

Before diving into the practical instructions Paul gives us for living in Ephesians 4, he begins with a theological description of why Christians should act differently. We are not to act as the world acts (v. 17), without the understanding of God and alienated from him (v. 18). Instead, we have “put off [our] old self” (v. 22), and have been “renewed in the spirit of [our] minds” (v. 23). The application of this text is straightforward. Let me say it this way. “Do not live like the Americans with their futile (pointless, useless, unmeaningful, ineffective) thinking. Change the label if necessary, but you cannot conform to your society and its system of thought”. If we want to have productive conversations with our family and friends about divisive issues, we need to recognize that the tools we’ve been given from this world—defensiveness, shouting, insulting—are not the tools we need.

Righteous Anger: Modeling God's Response to Injustice

Paul gives some important practical advice in this passage for difficult conversations: tell the truth always (4:25), and even in your anger do not sin or allow it to fester (linger, grow, simmer) (v. 26). We should always exercise wisdom about when to speak and when to be silent, and telling the truth in love requires wisdom and restraint; but Paul is clear about what living clothed in our new self means. We do not lash outin anger, but when in difficult conversations, we are not sinning if we are angry at the things God is angry at. In the next chapter, Paul exhorts the church to “be imitators of God” (5:1)—the same God who in his holiness is angry at injustice and evil. It can be put this way: “We must grow incensed when we see the weak and helpless exploited, because the Lord’s wrath is kindled against the oppressor. We learn from Exodus how God feels about oppressed people.

Hypocrisy in our lives and in the church must disturb us because of Jesus’ anger at those who honor Him with their lips only. Listen to the words of Jesus

Anyone who has bought a house knows that foundation issues are a big deal. The exterior could be beautiful, the house big with plenty of bathrooms. But if the foundation is crumbling, all kinds of other damage can and will result. When Paul instructs the church at Ephesus to “let no corrupting talk come out of [their] mouths” (4:29), he uses a word that in other places is “used of spoiled fish or rotten fruit, but it is also used to describe stones that crumble”. Considering Paul’s consistent language of “building up” here and in (v. 16), that’s likely the image he has in mind. We must build people up instead of using words that cause them to crumble. And yet this also means that in our conversations, we cannot merely inflate people’s egos or pacify them with little white lies. Real building up means telling the truth in love, working through our differences, and trying our best to understand one another and seek the real best for one another.

The Power of Forgiveness is a Path to Reconciliation

Paul’s last words in Ephesians 4 are appropriate for us to remember in our difficult conversations: forgive one another, “as God in Christ forgave you” (v. 32). We will not have perfect unity and reconciliation until Christ’s return, which means that even in our best efforts, we will fail to understand one another and find agreement. The only way to seek real, robust peace in a world where we will always misunderstand one another, love the wrong things, and hurt one another with our words and actions is to forgive one another. But forgiveness doesn’t come naturally, so we must constantly practice it if we want to be prepared to offer it in the heat of the moment. Start today by thinking of one person you need to forgive and one person you need to ask forgiveness from.

Conclusion:

As we navigate the complexities of our relationships and the challenges of communication, let us strive to build each other up with honesty and love. By practicing forgiveness and seeking to understand one another, we can foster an environment of genuine connection and growth. Remember, the foundation of our interactions should be rooted in the grace and compassion that we have received through Jesus Christ, allowing us to create a community that reflects the love and unity that He desires.