What is protocol for how we treat each other in the body of Christ?

Love is the protocol! But often, the love in us is hijacked by former conditioning.A huge factor in life is our personal conditioning.

God’s original plan was that parents raise their children in the atmosphere of love, and that parents through their relationship with each other show children what God is like.

But, sin has skewed the process. Most people are not raised in an atmosphere of love and acceptance. Most are raised in atmospheres of fear, control, manipulation, and selfishness.

1. Those who fail are unworthy of love, and deserve to be punished.

(I am loved even when I fail. I am forgiven and deeply loved by God - 1 John 2:1-2). Propitiation.

You - down on yourself. Upset. Frustrated. Demotivated.

Others - little grace and space for mistakes or problems, or inconsistencies. Rigid in relationships. Demanding.

Galatians 6:1

2. I must meet meet certain standards to feel good about myself. (I am completely forgiven and fully pleasing to God - Justified! 2 Corinthians 5:21). Justification

You - perfectionism, very black and white, things have to be just right or you are upset with yourself, ill at ease...

Others - must perform just right, judgmental, too black and white, little margin for inconsistencies, critical...

3. I must be accepted by others to feel good about myself. (I am totally loved and accepted by God - Ephesians 1:4-6) Reconciliation

You - defensive or even angry when critiqued, will not voice opinion in a group. Little tolerance for different opinions.

Others - chamelian, two faced, inconsistencies , one way with one person and totally different with another, total people pleaser...

4. I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless. (I am a new person in Christ - 2 Corinthians 5:17). Regeneration

You - defeated, struggling, little drive or ambition. Pessimistic. Self- pity

Others - unreliable, resigned, nonchalant, critical, judgmental...

(from The Search For Significance by Robert S. McGee (Nashville: Word Publishing, 1998) p. 307

Broken homes result in broken relationships.You live out what you’ve experienced until personal mind renewal has occurred.

I started school at age 5. Immediately felt lonely and isolated. Felt as though others did not care about me. Rejected my appearance…clothing/hair/feet. Was the last person picked on ball teams at recess. Had no neighbors around my home since we lived in the country. Would rather be around the animals in my yard or out walking in the forest than with people. Was picked on by peers at an early age.

Rejection thinking ruled my thoughts! Walking into a room, my mind would tell me that nobody liked me.

Then I came to Jesus age 18. Little by little the Lord began to unseat wrong thinking and wrong feelings about rejection.

1983 – Revelation – 1 Corinthians 4:3 It matters very little to me what you or any man thinks of me. I don’t even value my opinion of myself.

Personal pride would not allow me to admit that I had problems…

Then I pioneered a church, and Mondays were terrible. I would preach my heart out on Sundays (AM & PM) and on Mondays feel that everyone in the church was against me! Here’s what I found out…

I had to siege my mind.

Siege: Cut off the supply line to a city until it gave out of resources.

I had to refuse to listen to the lies my mind and emotions told me about others and their thoughts towards me!I made phone calls or personal visits to those I thought did not like me, and I proved to myself that my mind and my emotions were not telling me the truth!

The SIEGE was on!

You must reroute your thoughts about how to relate to others!

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (PHILLIPS) This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience—it looks for a way of being constructive. It is not possessive: it is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance. (5-6) Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage. It is not touchy. It does not keep account of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, it is glad with all good men when truth prevails. (7-8a) Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. It is, in fact, the one thing that still stands when all else has fallen.

Let me describe _______________. ______________ is slow to lose patience; _______________ stays in difficult relationships with kindness, and _______________ always looks for ways to be constructive. There is no envy in _______________. _______________ is not possessive and never boils over with jealousy. _______________ makes no parade of himself/herself; _______________ never boasts, nor does _______________ puff up with pride. _______________ is never arrogant and never puts itself on display, because _______________ is neither anxious to impress, nor does _______________ cherish inflated ideas of his/her own importance._______________ never gets irritated and is never resentful.

_______________ holds no grudges, and _______________ keeps no record of evil done to him/her._______________ refuses to be provoked and never harbors evil thoughts.

_______________ is not rude or grasping or overly sensitive, nor does _______________ search for imperfections and faults in others. _______________ does not compile statistics of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, _______________ is glad with all good men when truth prevails. _______________ celebrates what is real and not what is perverse or incomplete.

_______________ never does the graceless thing. _______________ has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage. _______________ never insists on his/her own rights, never irritably loses his/her temper, and never nurses his/her wrath to keep it warm._______________ is not touchy.

_______________ can stand any kind of treatment because there are no limits to his/her endurance, no end to his/her trust. _______________ bears up under anything; _______________ perseveres in all circumstances. _______________’s first instinct is to believe in people. If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best in him, and always stand your ground in defending him. _______________ never regards anyone or anything as hopeless. _______________ keeps up hope in everything. _______________’s hope never fades.

_______________ keeps on keeping on! _______________ trusts in God in every situation and expects God to act in all circumstances. _______________ goes on forever. Nothing can destroy _______________. Nothing can happen that can break _______________’s spirit. In fact, _______________ is the one thing that still stands when all else has fallen.

Sincere – Without wax