Chestnut Ridge Church
Through God, Solomon wrote the Old Testament book of Proverbs so we could grow in understanding and wisdom, and so we would know what to do and how to respond to various situations in life. The starting point of wisdom is what Solomon calls, "the fear of the Lord."
Music from today
The Lion and the Lamb, There Is Power, Fullness, Death Was Arrested
Wise Guy - Part 5 [July 2, 2017] Cameron Cheke
Compassionate Listening
recap of series Wise Guy
week 1 - The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom
week 2 - Listening, from the viewpoint of the one receiving guidance
week 3 - Wise Children: honoring parents despite mistakes
week 4 - Living Generously without bias
TODAY - Compassionate Listening
Two Truths and a Lie
1. When I was in elementary school, three friends and I used to shoot eggs into the local pool with a large slingshot.
2. When I graduated from high school, I headed out west in a van for a month and traveled the country with 3 high school friends, and this was actually supported by my parents.
3. When I was in college, I earned some extra cash while fighting MMA cage matches to help pay for my college loans.
'You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings!'
-Donkey from 'Shrek'
"Do your best to practice compassionate listening. Do not listen for the sole purpose of judging, criticizing or analyzing. Listen only to help the other person express himself and find some relief from suffering."
-Thich Nhat Hanh
"Compassion is the human quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to alleviate it. In order to understand a person's suffering, it is important to take the time to listen to what others are going through. Listening is an accepting and non judgmental invitation for others to be themselves, without any worry about disapproval."
-Dr. Hyder Zahed
‘How perpetually we find ourselves in circumstances where we passionately desire to escape from human judgments, based upon imperfect knowledge. Perhaps no day passes in which false judgments are not formed, which nevertheless may be perfectly sincere.’
-G. Cambell Morgan from 'The Answers of Jesus to Job'
LISTENER
- Develop understanding
- See the humanity within others
SPEAKER
- Feeling of relief and renewed strength
- Self-revelation and problem solving
"Over and over again, I am struck by the transforming significance and profound simplicity of the ministry of listening."
-unknown
STOP TALKING and LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND
Proverbs 18:13 HCSB
Proverbs 18:2 ESV
WHY is it so hard to LISTEN?
• Priority value
• Bias and past conversations
• Rushed conclusions
• Personally offended
• Exhaustion and emotional overload
Proverbs 20:5 ESV
Compassionate listening is an ACT of LOVE!
Proverbs 13:3 NIV
Compassionate listening requires:
• Love
• Patience
• Self-control
• Open-mindedness
Philippians 2:3-5 NIV
Lack of Love—
> Someone always has to top the other person’s story.
> When you can tell they already have their answer for you and you’re only halfway done talking.
> When an answer or quick fix is given without being asked follow up questions first.
> When someone can’t maintain eye contact, or are continually distracted by phone, watch.
PATIENCE...
Dietrich Bonheoffer said,‘There is a kind of listening with half an ear that presumes already to know what the other person has to say.” This is an impatient, inattentive listening, that . . . is only waiting for a chance to speak.”
SELF-CONTROL...
“Christians so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others – that is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.”
- Dietrich Bonheoffer
OPEN-MINDEDNESS...
Proverbs 20:5 ESV
Don't be so dogmatic.
Job 38:4-9 NIV
Job 38:31-33 NIV
The more I know, the more I know I don't know as much as I thought I knew...not even close.
Isaiah 55:8 NLT
Listen Longer
Listen Openly
Listen Lovingly