Authentic Leadership: How to Lead With Nothing to Hide, Nothing to Prove, and Nothing to LoseSample

The Story You Tell Yourself

Leaders are, by default, storytellers. They tell stories of potential and possibility. They tell stories to motivate people to create the future. They help people interpret the past and move forward. But the most important story that leaders tell is the one they tell themselves.

Whether you realize it or not, you have a story you tell yourself about yourself. These stories are powerful and help us understand the past, the present, and influence our future decisions. Authentic Leaders know this, and have the pen in their hand, actively writing their own story. By telling the right story about their strengths, weaknesses, struggles, disappointments, and challenges they authentically gain the courage to lead.

Story of an Underdog

The story of David and Goliath is a classic example of the authentic confidence that comes from telling yourself the right story about your strengths.

David was an unknown teenager in Israel when he traveled from his hometown to visit his older brothers on the frontlines of a battle between the Israelites and the Philistines. On the day David arrived in the camp, Goliath had shouted another challenge. But where David’s brothers and the rest of the Israelite army lacked the courage to confront the giant, David was instantly infuriated. In a moment, he resolved to fight Goliath. Grabbing a few stones and his sling, David approached the giant with incredible confidence. On his first shot, hit Goliath in the forehead, effectively killing him.

That’s a familiar story to many. The relevant question is this, “What gave a teenager, with zero military experience, more courage than the most seasoned warriors in Israel? Where did he get the confidence to face Goliath?”

To answer that question, it’s important to look at David’s story before he faced off against Goliath. A closer look shows that his courage came from how he authored his own story.

David Wrote His Story

Before David met Goliath, he was shaped by a crucible. A crucible is a situation where an individual endures a severe, often painful, trial. It always results in increased confidence or diminished confidence. Crucibles are always a turning point in life.

Here’s how he explained his crucible to Saul, the king of Israel.

"David said to Saul, “Your servant was tending his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and took a lamb from the flock, I went out after him and attacked him, and rescued it from his mouth; and when he rose up against me, I seized him by his beard and struck him and killed him.

'Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear, and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them since he has taunted the armies of the living God."

Essentially David is saying, “I don’t need to pretend that I’m tougher than I am. I’ve been challenged before, and I’m better and stronger because of it. I know who I am. And I know I’m good enough. I beat the lion, and I beat the bear. And I’ll beat this too.”

Crucibles have a way of giving us courage that others don’t understand. His past predicament supplied remarkable confidence and helped him see himself as someone who could beat the odds. He likely told himself, “People like me can do things like this.”

This is a critical point. David did dwell on the fact that his flock had been twice attacked. He did not see himself as a victim of circumstances. He saw himself as a victor. He did not say "I saved my sheep, but barely escaped with my life..." he framed the story to say, he defeated them. He interpreted and internalized past events in a way that positioned him for future victory. He told himself the right story about himself.

Maybe you've been through a traumatic season of your life. If your crucible has left you with less confidence, consider the story you're telling yourself about it. Often, the way we frame our crucible determines the power it has to lift us to our authentic God-given potential or weigh us down with insecurity and anxiety.