Finding Peace in Anxious Thoughts

This year I learned more about Jesus by finding peace in the midst of my anxious thoughts.

I moved back to the US about six months before COVID-19 hit. Just as I was getting settled in my new city, church, job, and life I was suddenly forced to stay in my apartment for months with only my dog to keep me company. God used this time to slow me down and begin healing the broken parts that were inflicted upon me during my prior season of field ministry.

Pain can lead to bitterness and despair and can enslave us without us realizing it. While living and serving on the field I went through some traumatic events. The compounding stress of trauma hijacked my personhood and left me a shadow of the person I once was.  

If you struggle with anxiety as I do you know what it is like to wake up with your mind racing. Before you even get ready for the day ahead, the mental battle begins. We know the lies that Satan uses don’t line up with Scripture. It is the Truth that anchors us. When things are hard, when we don’t have the words to make sense of what has happened, when we are hurting and emotions are high, Jesus understands and meets us there.

In John 11:32–35 Jesus receives the news that his friend had died:

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. Where have you laid him?” he asked. 

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

Jesus wept.

The simple fact that Jesus experienced intense pain just like I did, is so comforting. He is there, with us, as he was with Lazarus’ family. Jesus knew human emotions deeply, knew grief and heartache, and he wept during this moment.

By reading this story in context we know that Jesus was aware that Lazarus had died. He mentions to the disciples that what he was about to do would help them believe. That small delay made way for God’s glory to be displayed. We know how the story ends; Lazarus does not stay dead for long. But in that hard place between death and life, Jesus wept! 

Pain is a special invitation from God that allows him to replace fear, doubt, and anxiety with peace, joy, and abundant strength. I couldn't learn to fully embrace peace until God allowed hard things into my story. Until he allowed a pain that I could not hold on my own. When life felt soul crushing, God met me right where I needed him. I began to see the beauty again.

Key Quotation

When life felt soul-crushing, God met me right where I needed him. I began to see the beauty again.

Question 

How have you experienced peace in the middle of the hard moments?

Tina Barham, Avant Ministries