ˈFlər-Ishنموونە

DAY 5 – FORGIVENESS

Hey Friends! I see your eyes rolling already! I know. I know. Why do we have to talk about THIS? The truth is forgiveness is one of the top reasons we aren’t flourishing in Christ. We harbor so much bitterness, disgust, and bad attitudes towards people who have hurt us, and we won’t let it go. I remember I dated this guy who was very mentally and emotionally abusive. Right after we broke up, God said affirm him for 30 days. Hol’ up Lord, say what?! Do you know what he did? God said so clearly to me, “Yes, and I need you to affirm him.” I was so scared that this guy would think I was trying to get back with him or that these affirmations would make him feel like he wasn’t guilty of what I knew to be true. So for 30 days, I affirmed him.

I said a kind word and backed it up with Scripture. WHEW! On day 1, the guy wrote back and said, “That was beautiful. Did you write that yourself?” LORD!! I’M GOING TO THROW THE WHOLE COMPUTER AWAY!! It was so tough. God spoke to me again and said, “Don’t look at him through your eyes. Look at him through Mine.” God checked me. He reminded me that He loves him and is still His child. Just like we have done wrong over and over, and God still loves us. There is only one way to truly understand that love: to give it…give grace…forgive.

Matthew 6:14-15 NIV

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Mark 11:25 NIV

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Do you see how it’s all connected? Your ability to forgive others is attached to God’s desire to forgive you. I don’t know about you, but I need forgiveness. DAILY!

If that isn’t enough, there are a few other benefits to forgiving others. Forgiveness lowers blood pressure, reduces stress, cultivates healthier relationships, and improves self-esteem. Forgiveness is healing! Have you ever forgiven someone and just felt good to let it go. I know I have felt a weight lifted off my shoulders when I have gotten on my knees and said, “God, I give this to you. I forgive them, and I forgive MYSELF for keeping this grudge for so long.”

Some people may struggle with starting the conversation around forgiveness, so I wanted to help you get started.

Here’s an example: Thank you for taking my call (or taking the time to sit down with me). I have taken the time to process what happened between us. FIRST, I want to apologize for my role in hurting you and everything that led up to what happened. I own my part. I’m truly sorry. I’m free and clear of everything that has happened, and I’m ready to move forward. (Give them time to speak their piece and be open to just listening.) You don’t always have to say, “I forgive You.” You can forgive with your heart and say it privately to God. Forgiveness is an ongoing process. People will always disappoint you and come short of your expectations. We have to learn how to forgive and offer grace to others in the same way God forgives and gives grace to us.