Help For A Hurting Marriageنموونە

Devotion from Anger, Taming a Powerful Emotion by Gary Chapman

When You Are Angry at God

Diane was past the weeping stage when she sat in my office, but she was white-hot with anger. Jennifer, her daughter, had been killed three months earlier by a repeat offender drunken driver. As she came out of shock into the world of painful reality, she was grieving over her tragic loss, and her loss was compounded by her anger. 

As I continued to listen as Diane shared her thoughts and feelings, I felt deep empathy. Wanting to discover the focus of her anger and knowing that Diane was a deeply committed Christian, I asked, “What are your feelings toward God in all of this?”

“I hate to say it, but to be honest, I’m mad at God right now. I feel like He has deserted me. He could have spared Jennifer’s life. She was so young and talented. Why would God allow this? I don’t understand.”

Christians often experience anger toward God in the face of tragedy. It is often true that the stronger one’s Christian commitment, the more intense will be the person’s anger toward God. As Diane said later, “I’ve tried to live for God and be faithful. Why would He let this happen to me?” 

Diane was experiencing what Job must have experienced (see Job 1:8; 2:3; 16:11, 22; 17:1, 11). And when we look at Job and other biblical examples of people who were angry with God, it is clear that God did not condemn such anger. He entered into conversation with these people and helped them work through their anger. However, this does not mean that He always gave a full explanation of why bad things happened to good people. He is willing to hear our expressions of anger and listen as we pour out our pain. Knowing that God is all-powerful and could have averted unjust or tragic events, hurting Christians often ask, “Why did God not do something?”

When I ponder this question, two alternatives come to mind. One, God could eliminate all sinful people and thus wipe out all the pain caused by their sinful acts. This, however, would eliminate the entire human race, because as the Bible says, “Everyone has sinned” (Rom. 3:23). 

The second possibility would be for God to step in and miraculously avert the consequences of all evil. God could stop all bombs from exploding, stall all cars of drunken drivers, eliminate all germs and viruses, evaporate all bullets, strike mute on all who begin to speak a hurtful word, and so on. While all this may sound inviting, it removes human freedom and makes a person a robot that must do only good deeds. Apparently God values freedom, and freedom requires the option to disobey as well as to obey. There can be no freedom without the possibility of evil, and evil always has negative consequences.

The problem with our anger toward God is not the anger itself but how we handle it. Your anger with God is distorted anger. God has done you no wrong, but your feeling is still real anger, a response to a situation that brought great pain to you and that you believe God could have averted. But you may take your anger to God. As our compassionate Father, He wants to hear our complaints. At the same time, as our Sovereign Lord, He will either help us understand His perspective on the situation or He will simply ask us to trust Him.

Read the account of Elijah and the prophets of Baal in 1 Kings 18–19. Especially note Elijah’s anger with God afterword, in 19:4, and how God’s voice came to Elijah in verses 10, 12–13. You too can learn to pay attention to where God may be speaking. His “quiet whisper” may come to you through a Christian friend, a sermon, a book, an event, through music, prayer or reading His Word. However it comes, you will know it is His “whisper” if the message you receive is consistent with Scripture.

The believer who honestly shares his or her anger with God eventually will experience His peace (Phil. 4:7). With this peace comes the full assurance that your life is in the hands of a loving God, that what has happened does not mean He has abandoned you. And trust that as long as you are alive, God still has “hope and a future” for you, a purpose whereby you can carry out His good plans.

REACT: Are you now or have you ever been angry with God? Can you be honest with Him about your feelings? Are you willing to continue to seek and trust Him, acknowledging that what has happened does not mean He has abandoned you?