Romanceنموونە

Keeping Romance Alive

Have you ever gone into a greeting card store or walked down the greeting card aisle in a supermarket or pharmacy on Valentine’s Day or the day before? My guess is that what I observe on those days is replicated over and over in city after city. The aisle is crammed with men who all have this panicked look on their faces. It is like the entire male species is trying to figure out how to be romantic during crunch time. I think most of them succeed in one way or another but the stress can be overwhelming. It’s also very interesting that the “greeting card” thing does not seem to apply to women.  Somehow they are not in a panic. Probably because they bought their card weeks earlier.  

This is my take away, if we try to package romance into one day a year, we are missing the point. In marriage, romance needs to be a lifestyle. 

Let’s look at it this way. If I want my relationship with Christ to grow, what do I need to do? For me, it’s spending intentional time with Him and living my life in a way that honors Him, putting Him first in everything. When I do that day after day, my relationship with Him is better and I feel closer and more connected to Him. What if I put that same effort into my marriage? If I set aside quality time each day with my wife and live my live each day in a way that honors her and if I put her second only to God in everything, won’t that make a difference? I think we complicate the whole romance thing. Are flowers and candy and nice dinners romantic? Sure, but being intentional with each other in your marriage is also romantic and can actually add a depth to your marriage that was not there before.

Try doing these three things every day for a week. See if it does not make a difference:

• Ask your spouse every day if there is something you can do for them.
• Set aside ten minutes every day to talk and listen to each other.
• Tell someone else something good about your spouse.

Today’s Challenge: 

1. Do you think romance should be better in marriage than when you were dating? Why or why not?

2. If you were to give your spouse “hints” about romance, what would some of those be?

3. In “doing life” together, what gets in the way of romance for you as a couple?

4. Are there things you thought were romantic earlier in your marriage that do not have as much impact today? List those here.

Going Deeper:

Finish this sentence: If my spouse only did one romantic thing for me, I would want it to be___________ .