We'll Laugh About This Somedayনমুনা

It began with God’s seed of a dream, planted in my heart as a little girl, to one day become an author. I wanted to make people laugh, see themselves in my words, and have hope. Maybe I’d get a book published, do a few book signings, some readings too—why not? There were no pressures; there was no need for likes and man’s approval. The desire, so innocent, childlike, and pure—was to simply become who I was made to be. It was such a delightful dream a little girl could dream, writing away in a Hello Kitty notebook in my room with the door closed. 

For nearly a decade after my first viral story, nothing much happened. No growth, no big opportunities. Definitely no money. No fame. But, failing to succeed in all the wrong things was the best thing to ever happen to me. Ten years was the exact length of time it took for me to stop giving one more single crap about what simply did not matter. The unfollows, the mean comments, the critiques about my hair. They just fell off, one by one, as I eventually realized how cheap they really were. The attention, once a shiny necklace, eventually turns your neck green. Ten years is a long time, I know. But the road is long, and it takes what it takes.

I never quit writing, but I finally quit chasing. I went back to the beginning. I tore up formulas and the perfect hashtags. I searched inside for what made me happy and contented. I scanned for what gave me direction and purpose. I focused on the craft, not the likes. I focused on making one person’s day better, not one million. Be a light. Be myself. That’s so easy to do, it’s stupid. Why hadn’t I thought of it before? . . .

Motherhood didn’t strip me from my writing ambitions; it simply changed the purpose of those ambitions. After I took care of the needs of my family, I’d go write. Mostly for me. Maybe someone else would like it, too, but that wasn’t any of my business. God created me to do what I was finally doing. And it was good.

Prayer

Father, thank you for creating me for a purpose. Help me to know that purpose, and please let me be a light to others. Amen.