Battle-Weary Parents for Parenting in Crisisনমুনা

 DAY TWO: Your Help Comes From the Lord

Coming down from the initial placement high can feel like you’ve fallen off a cliff or have been hit by a fast-moving train. It happens in an instant, one day you’re sailing along thinking, “They were all wrong this foster/adoption thing is awesome!” Then BAM! You wonder if someone snuck in and switched your kid with a look-alike from another planet. Or, you wonder if everyone lied about the honeymoon. What honeymoon? This kid declared war the moment he moved into his new bedroom! Either way, we all arrive at this place in our journey wondering why we signed up for this, how we’re going to make it through it, and how long it’s going to last. No, really, how long is this going to last?

Recently I read a quote from a mom in one of the Facebook groups that I participate in, “I remember one day after a foster son’s placement. He had been clingy, demanding, pushing me away, and starting fights. I opened the window and saw 3-inches of snow, and I realized school would be canceled. I promptly crawled back into bed and burst into tears.” When I read her words, my heart resonated deeply with her sense of weariness and defeat. I have often felt like going back to bed, crawling deeply beneath my covers and staying there for days on end. It’s not because I didn’t care; I just didn’t feel equipped to face the inevitable challenges, behaviors, and needs of the day. If you’re reading this, chances are that’s exactly what you’re feeling right now. 

You’ve put your heart and soul into classes, training, praying, and waiting for this child and the opportunity to help one who has been continually hurt and rejected. Yet here you are feeling hurt, rejected, and worn-out. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. I know it probably doesn’t help to hear that this is normal. But it is normal, and it will pass. You can do this. You serve the same God that I do, and He is faithful to give you what you need to complete this mission and make a difference in the life of one of his most precious children. 

As we continue together over the next 29 days, we are going to journey through the very real emotions, questions, and pain of being a battle-weary parent. The struggle is very real, but we have a very real God who cares about you and will give you the wisdom, comfort, and understanding that you need to keep going. Be encouraged! You’re not alone, you’re not crazy, and you’re not a failure. He will not let you stumble. 

The only reasonable way to end this first day is to remind you that even King David, God’s chosen one, found himself in the pits of despair needing the comfort of His God to help him make it through. I love his words in Psalm 121, “I lift my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip – he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you – the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” 

Look up—your help comes from the Lord.

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I encourage you to spend time with your spouse (or a trusted friend if you're single) to answer the following questions. 

Discussion Questions – Day TWO: Your Help Comes From The Lord

1. What motivated you to get involved in foster care/adoption? As you reflect on your initial motivations, how do you feel about your current struggle?

2. Today’s devotion says, “The struggle is very real, and we have a very real God who cares about you and will give you the wisdom, comfort, and understanding that you need to keep going.” Talk about what this means for you and your family. What is it that you feel like you need to keep going?

3. Read Matthew 5:1-4. What do you think it means for you to mourn? How can this group help comfort you?

4. What are your biggest fears in this situation? Take time to put words to them—in writing, in conversation, or in prayer—so that they are exposed to the light and not hidden in darkness.