Body Image God's Wayናሙና

The Thorn in My Flesh

I can’t think of a time when I wasn’t struggling with my body in some way. I’ve wrestled over and over again with conflicting body thoughts and desires that have tormented me daily. Whether it’s in the form of a desperate attempt to shrink my body, or a hope that I can one day be at peace with it. A hope that I’ll eventually stop thinking about my body so much, or a decision to simply think more positively about it.

Through some seasons of life this body has felt more like a curse than a blessing. I’ve looked around at other women who seemed to freely float through life without giving one thought to the size, acceptableness, shape, or composition of their bodies, while I’ve sat in mine feeling like it’d never be good enough. 

Sometimes the problem isn’t my actual body. It’s my feelings toward my body. I’ve beheld it as a disappointment to myself and to others, and failed to appreciate the incredible ways this body carries me through life each day. 

I’ve never felt more understood than when I was chatting with the apostle Paul. Okay, so we weren’t actually chatting, but when I read 2 Corinthians 12, I felt like I was looking into a mirror that reflected the depths of my soul.

He describes what I understand on the deepest level; it’s the “thorn in my flesh,” as he describes it. That thing that’s nagged at my being for as long as I can remember. I’ve begged, pleaded, sobbed, and anguished over it. I’ve tried to ignore it, break away from it, wish it away, and pray it away. 

Paul doesn’t give us a clear understanding of what his thorn actually was, but that’s okay because I know mine. It’s my body. Not just my physical body but more so the lenses through which I have seen my body and the ways in which I have been overtaken by thoughts of dissatisfaction, disqualification, and disheartenment. 

The overwhelmingly good news today, though, is that God’s grace supersedes what was meant to crush me. 

He says in 2 Corinthians 4:16 that while our bodies are decaying, “God is making new life” and “not a day goes by without his unfolding grace” (MSG). 

Yes, our bodies are good. Yes, they’re important. Yes, we’re thankful for them. 

But what matters more than the intricacies of our physical bodies is the grace that is being renewed within us daily. Jesus said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” 

This is important because it reminds me to take my eyes off what’s less important, and place them on what matters the absolute most. Where it really matters (in our hearts), God is renewing His grace within us. And His grace is sufficient. 

The problem isn’t my body. God doesn’t hate my body. God isn’t ignoring my pleas and requests and hopes. 

He knows us inside and out, and He promises that we can live a life of peace, joy, hope, and enthusiasm while allowing His grace to burst into every area where we feel personal weakness. That’s where His power works best.