Living Grace Foursquare
God’s Design for Marriage (4): How to Change My Spouse
Change is unavoidable. To live is to experience change. Few of the changes we experience are under our control. There are some changes we can control. Today we’ll discuss how you can change …You; to have a better marriage! Romans 7:21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power[e] within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?
Locations & Times
Living Grace Foursquare Church
3646 N Rancho Dr, Las Vegas, NV 89130, USA
Sunday 8:30 AM
Sunday 10:30 AM
We can change:
§ By changing our habits
§ By changing our thinking
§ By getting God’s perspective
§ By changing our habits
§ By changing our thinking
§ By getting God’s perspective
o Marriage: (Lies)
§ Passion=Love
§ My spouse should meet all my needs
§ Once the love dies, you can’t get it back
§ Chemistry is all that matters
§ Love conquers all
§ When things get tough, it means you married the wrong partner
§ My spouse should make me happy
§ Once in love you stay on a romantic high forever
§ Love is a feeling, and you either have it or you don’t
Dr. Pat Love in her book, The Truth About Love, identifies 4 stages of love:
1. Infatuation
a. Positive attitudes
b. Increased energy
c. Less need for sleep
d. Which together with PEA trigger positive attitudes increased energy, less need for sleep, loss of appetite, euphoria, excessive energy, no fear, and unrealistic optimism
2. PostRapture
a. The nerve endings in the brain have become habituated to the brain’s normal stimulants. The brain builds a tolerance over time, then the body goes back to its normal state.
b. Don’t get stuck here!
3. Discovery
4. Connection
1. Infatuation
a. Positive attitudes
b. Increased energy
c. Less need for sleep
d. Which together with PEA trigger positive attitudes increased energy, less need for sleep, loss of appetite, euphoria, excessive energy, no fear, and unrealistic optimism
2. PostRapture
a. The nerve endings in the brain have become habituated to the brain’s normal stimulants. The brain builds a tolerance over time, then the body goes back to its normal state.
b. Don’t get stuck here!
3. Discovery
4. Connection
3 Keys to Real Change in Marriage and Life
Key1: Unconditional Love, Without Criticism or Expectation
The commandments of God are always tied to His character
i. Because God is love, we are to love others
ii. The real test of love
i. Because God is love, we are to love others
ii. The real test of love
Key2: Change Yourself…First
1. From the beginning, we are a people that tend to blame others for our faults.
2. By changing even small behaviors, you show what unconditional love looks like and create an atmosphere where marriage can thrive.
Your change invites theirs.
1. From the beginning, we are a people that tend to blame others for our faults.
2. By changing even small behaviors, you show what unconditional love looks like and create an atmosphere where marriage can thrive.
Your change invites theirs.
Key3: Happiness is Always Your Choice
1. If I believe my happiness depends on what my spouse does, I give up my free will and put my happiness in their hands.
a. Don’t put the remote control of your happiness into anyone’s hands but yours!
b. The power to choose is powerful.
If you choose wisely you won’t wait for your spouse to make you happy!
1. If I believe my happiness depends on what my spouse does, I give up my free will and put my happiness in their hands.
a. Don’t put the remote control of your happiness into anyone’s hands but yours!
b. The power to choose is powerful.
If you choose wisely you won’t wait for your spouse to make you happy!
If you want your marriage to be the most exciting and rewarding journey of your life, the question to ask is not whether your mate is doing enough to make the marriage work. Rather ask yourself; “Am I loving my mate unconditionally by taking responsibility for my role in our relationship?” Dr. Gary Smalley, I Promise
Real change is not Behavior Modification. Real change is Spiritual Transformation
1. It’s not just changing what you do on the outside, it’s allowing God to change you on the inside.
I’m so glad Paul didn’t leave things off @ Romans 7:24
vs25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. NLT
1. It’s not just changing what you do on the outside, it’s allowing God to change you on the inside.
I’m so glad Paul didn’t leave things off @ Romans 7:24
vs25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. NLT
1. Don’t stop @ the struggle
2. Invite Jesus into the process
3. Let His love reshape how you live and how you love.
“If you’ve been trying to fix your marriage, your habits, your thinking—on your own—it’s time to let Jesus take over. Surrender isn’t failure. It’s the first step to real change.”
2. Invite Jesus into the process
3. Let His love reshape how you live and how you love.
“If you’ve been trying to fix your marriage, your habits, your thinking—on your own—it’s time to let Jesus take over. Surrender isn’t failure. It’s the first step to real change.”