Neighborhood Church

Mom Guilt / Dad Shame
• You should be doing more.
• You messed that up.
• They deserve better than you.

CULTURE CONFUSES PERFECTION WITH LOVE AND PERFORMANCE WITH VALUE

SACRED WORK NOT PERFECT WORK

There’s no such thing as a perfect parent.

Present Parenting

The Power of Showing Up by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne

You don’t have to be a perfect parent—you just need to show up.

The 4 S’s
Safe – “I’m not going to harm you. I’ll protect you.”

Seen – “I notice what’s going on inside you, not just what you’re doing.”

Soothed – “When life gets hard, I’ll be with you. I won’t leave you alone in it.”

Secure – “You can count on me. I’ll keep showing up.”

#1 Safe

God hardwired it into our kids’ brains: “If something goes wrong, if I feel scared or threatened, I run to the one who makes me feel safe.”

Our kids aren’t looking for flawless parents. They’re looking for safe ones.

#2 Seen

Seeing our kids means tuning in to what’s going on inside them—not just reacting to what they do, but being curious about why they’re doing it.

TRIAD OF CONNECTION
• PERCEIVE
• MAKE SENSE
• RESPOND

EL ROI = THE GOD WHO SEES ME

#3 Soothing

#4: Secure

SECURITY IS BUILT ON THE KIND OF LOVE THAT SAYS, “YOU CAN ALWAYS COME HOME.”

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.
Christopher Robin to Pooh