Grace Church
How To...#3 - Deal With Difficult People
In our October and November series, we'll be looking at many "How To" topics from God's perspective.
Locations & Times
Grace Community Church
8950 M-79, Nashville, MI 49073, USA
Sunday 10:00 AM
Our memory verse this month - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Our Fall series is entitled "How To". Each week a topic will be added to make a complete statement. These topics will be looked at from God's perspective. So far in this series we've covered How to be a Friend and How to Pray.
Today we're talking about those people who get under your skin, annoy you, and are just not that fun to be around. They are the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one. Well known pastor, Rick Warren, calls them crazy makers.
Today we're talking about those people who get under your skin, annoy you, and are just not that fun to be around. They are the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one. Well known pastor, Rick Warren, calls them crazy makers.
I'm sure all of us can think of at least one person who has made our life difficult.
How do we know who the difficult people in our lives are? Pastor Warren uses some simple descriptions to identify these types of people...and remember, you could possibly be one of them.
How do we know who the difficult people in our lives are? Pastor Warren uses some simple descriptions to identify these types of people...and remember, you could possibly be one of them.
Here is a brief description for five of the most common types of difficult people in our lives.
1. DEMANDING people are the little dictators of life.
- bossy, pushy, intimidating, controlling
- their conversations tend to be about what someone else should do or do for them
- they see others as their servants, have a sense of entitlement, and have difficulty understanding the feelings, boundaries, and capacities of others.
1. DEMANDING people are the little dictators of life.
- bossy, pushy, intimidating, controlling
- their conversations tend to be about what someone else should do or do for them
- they see others as their servants, have a sense of entitlement, and have difficulty understanding the feelings, boundaries, and capacities of others.
2. DISAPPROVING people are the nit pickers.
- critical, negative, judgmental, perfectionists
- they look at others through a subjective and idealist set of standards and let you know that your best is rarely good enough.
- critical, negative, judgmental, perfectionists
- they look at others through a subjective and idealist set of standards and let you know that your best is rarely good enough.
3. DEAFENING people are the megaphones of life.
- they use words and volume to promote what is important to themselves and like to argue.
- they are not good listeners, they push for agreement, and will often seek to talk you into surrender.
- they use words and volume to promote what is important to themselves and like to argue.
- they are not good listeners, they push for agreement, and will often seek to talk you into surrender.
4. DESTRUCTIVE people are the volatile.
- anger issues; like a volcano, they could smolder or erupt suddenly
- they can cause fear and uncertainty because of some irritability, insecurity, or inability to deal with a situation.
- anger issues; like a volcano, they could smolder or erupt suddenly
- they can cause fear and uncertainty because of some irritability, insecurity, or inability to deal with a situation.
5. DEMEANING people are the caustic and sarcastic.
- have little regard for people and their circumstances in life
- have no filter
- always have a comment that could be rude, disrespectful, crass and insulting
- they take joy in being a bubble burster as they like to deflate a person's dreams, achievements, and worth.
- have little regard for people and their circumstances in life
- have no filter
- always have a comment that could be rude, disrespectful, crass and insulting
- they take joy in being a bubble burster as they like to deflate a person's dreams, achievements, and worth.
As Christians who want to influence people for the Lord, it's important that we learn how to Biblically deal with the difficult people who we will encounter in life.
The Scriptures provide numerous examples and principles as to how we are to manage our relationships. This morning we'll focus on just four actions we can take.
The Scriptures provide numerous examples and principles as to how we are to manage our relationships. This morning we'll focus on just four actions we can take.
1. We must DETERMINE not to be offended.
We have to keep from taking personal offense to the difficult people in life. How do we do this?
- Consider the source. Proverbs 12:16 [GNT]
- Look beyond the insult at their behavior. Proverbs 19:11; 10:12
We have to keep from taking personal offense to the difficult people in life. How do we do this?
- Consider the source. Proverbs 12:16 [GNT]
- Look beyond the insult at their behavior. Proverbs 19:11; 10:12
2. We must CHOOSE not to gossip about them.
Proverbs 17:9; 1 Peter 3:9
What's gossip? One definition is that gossip is sharing information with somebody who's not a part of the solution or a part of the problem.
The worst thing about gossip is when you start gossiping about difficult people, it means they win.
Proverbs 17:9; 1 Peter 3:9
What's gossip? One definition is that gossip is sharing information with somebody who's not a part of the solution or a part of the problem.
The worst thing about gossip is when you start gossiping about difficult people, it means they win.
3. We must REFUSE to play their game.
2 Corinthians 4:2 [NLT]
Thomas Paine, one of the founding fathers of America, said this, "to argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead."
Don't engage a quarrelsome person...refuse to play their game.
2 Corinthians 4:2 [NLT]
Thomas Paine, one of the founding fathers of America, said this, "to argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead."
Don't engage a quarrelsome person...refuse to play their game.
4. We must TAKE the high ground.
Romans 12:14, 17-18 [NLT]
We have very little control over how people treat us; their attitudes and actions. But we do have 100% control over how we respond. We please God when we respond with grace, love, and kindness. Our motivation to do this comes from our obedience to God and a desire to be like Jesus.
Romans 12:14, 17-18 [NLT]
We have very little control over how people treat us; their attitudes and actions. But we do have 100% control over how we respond. We please God when we respond with grace, love, and kindness. Our motivation to do this comes from our obedience to God and a desire to be like Jesus.
There are two ways you can apply this message to your life today:
- Think of that difficult person in your life. You can pray for them, be Jesus to them in word and deed, allow God to change them as He sees fit, and to grow you.
- If you see some of these traits in your life, then you need to repent before God, seek help and assistance, and if needed ask forgiveness from those whose life you have made difficult.
- Think of that difficult person in your life. You can pray for them, be Jesus to them in word and deed, allow God to change them as He sees fit, and to grow you.
- If you see some of these traits in your life, then you need to repent before God, seek help and assistance, and if needed ask forgiveness from those whose life you have made difficult.
Giving Link
Giving at Grace Church We don't talk a lot about giving tithes and offerings here at Grace but we share information periodically that will help you as you give to the Lord's work. If you are interested in a year end giving record for tax purposes: 1. You must use a Grace Church giving envelope and your name must be written on it. Envelopes can be placed in the bins near the doors at the back of the auditorium. 2. If you have an envelope pack now and there are left over envelopes, feel free to use what you have. (The notation of 1st Sunday, 2nd Sunday, etc is for your benefit only and is not used by the church.) 3. Envelope booklets are available in the Lobby at the Information Board whenever you need them. 4. You are always able to access your giving record via Breeze. If you need a link to set up your Breeze account click HERE. If you are currently giving through the Grace Church envelopes, financial statements will be emailed to you at the end of January. If you do not need giving records, but want to give to the Lord’s work at Grace: 1. Tithes and offerings are collected in the bins near the doors at the back of the auditorium. 2. Envelopes can be used but are not required. More information on giving can be found at the link below. As always, please contact the church office if you have questions (grace@gc3.org).
https://gc3.org/giving/Breeze Church Management
At Grace we use a secure directory/giving service called Breeze Church Management. Creating your personal account allows you to contact others in the church family, keep your contact information updated, and keep track of your giving if that is important to you, and/or create an online giving account.
Use the link below to get started or to login if you already have an account.
https://gc3.org/login/CJ's Coffee Shop Pre-Order Link
https://gc3.org/cjs/Meet and Greet
Grace Church holds a Meet & Greet for those who are newer to Grace Church on the 4th Sunday of each month. Our next Meet & Greet will be held on October 27th following the service in CJ's coffee shop. It is a great opportunity to meet the staff and leadership of Grace Church and learn a little more about the church. It also gives us an opportunity to learn a little about you! Contact Leslie Booher if you have any questions (leslie@gc3.org).
S.H.A.P.E. Class
The S.H.A.P.E. class will be held on Mondays 6:30-7:30 pm beginning October 21st with Aaron Smith.
This class will help you learn how you are uniquely created to minister in the church and in your community.
Each participant will need to purchase a book in CJ's. The cost of the book is $20 which covers the cost of an online personality assessment that will be part of this class. Register for the class at the link below if you haven't already let Aaron know you plan to attend.
https://gc3.org/grace-university/Church Work Days
Church Work Days each Saturday in October 9:00 am to Noon.
Come help us prepare the church property for winter! Contact Ryan Hickey (ryan@gc3.org) with questions.
Come help us prepare the church property for winter! Contact Ryan Hickey (ryan@gc3.org) with questions.
H.O.M.E. Groups
Grace Church H.O.M.E. Groups have started back up! You can learn more or sign-up for a group at the link below.
https://gc3.org/home-groups/Trunk or Treat
Trunk or Treat October 31st, 5:30-7:00 pm at Highpoint Community Bank in downtown Nashville. Candy donations can be dropped off in the lobby. Sign-up to participate using the link below.
https://gc3.breezechms.com/form/tortWednesday Nights in CJ's
CJ's coffee shop will be open on Wednesday nights 6:00-7:30 pm. This is a great time to invite others and "pull up a chair" to have conversations.
Operation Christmas Child Shoeboxes
Operation Christmas Child shoebox collection all throughout the month. You can pick up boxes and drop off filled boxes at the OCC table in the lobby. If you're not familiar with Operation Christmas Child, you can find more information at this link.
https://www.samaritanspurse.org/what-we-do/operation-christmas-child/Text Communications from Grace Church
An important message about communications from Grace Church...
Our church database, Breeze Church Management, has notified us of a new federal requirement regarding texts sent from Breeze.On October 23rd, any church member that has been texted in the last 30 days, will receive the following message: "Grace Church is verifying you want to receive reminders & alerts from Breeze ChMS. Reply YES to opt-in, STOP to cancel. Msg&data rates may apply."
Unless you reply YES to this message you will no longer receive messages from Breeze ChMS on behalf of Grace Church. This includes the Volunteer Reminders. Please contact the church office if you have any questions regarding this (grace@gc3.org).
Our church database, Breeze Church Management, has notified us of a new federal requirement regarding texts sent from Breeze.On October 23rd, any church member that has been texted in the last 30 days, will receive the following message: "Grace Church is verifying you want to receive reminders & alerts from Breeze ChMS. Reply YES to opt-in, STOP to cancel. Msg&data rates may apply."
Unless you reply YES to this message you will no longer receive messages from Breeze ChMS on behalf of Grace Church. This includes the Volunteer Reminders. Please contact the church office if you have any questions regarding this (grace@gc3.org).
Medical Personnel Needed
Grace Church is looking for attenders with medical training who would be interested in joining the church medical team. If you are interested in learning more, contact Ryan Hickey (ryan@gc3.org).
American Red Cross Blood Drive
There will be an American Red Cross Blood Drive at Grace Church on Thursday, October 31st from 11:15 am to 5:15 pm. Use the link below to make an appointment.
https://www.redcrossblood.org/give.html/drive-results?order=DATE&range=10&zipSponsor=GracefulBirthdays and Anniversaries We're Celebrating This Week!
Sunday, October 20th - Paul Adrianson
Tuesday, October 22nd - Melissa Mater
Wednesday, October 23rd - Dalton Rose
Thursday, October 24th - Autumn Lawless, Bastien Noteboom, Doralee Scott
Friday, October 25th - Dayton & Sara Walker
Saturday, October 26th - Steve Sterkenburg
Tuesday, October 22nd - Melissa Mater
Wednesday, October 23rd - Dalton Rose
Thursday, October 24th - Autumn Lawless, Bastien Noteboom, Doralee Scott
Friday, October 25th - Dayton & Sara Walker
Saturday, October 26th - Steve Sterkenburg