Definition of a friend:
Noun – “one who is attached to another by affection or esteem, a favored companion”
Verb – “one who acts as the friend of”

Not every “friend” is a real friend.

Proverbs 18:24 – A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 14:20 - The poor is disliked even by his neighbor, but the rich has many friends.
Proverbs 19:4 - Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend.
Proverbs 20:6 – Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find?

There are two types of friends in the book of Proverbs: friends to be avoided, and friends to be pursued. These types of friends fall into 3 categories: words, actions, and attitudes.

Friends to avoid:

Gossips
Proverbs 20:19- Whoever goes around slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.

Troublemakers and Liars
Proverbs 16:28 – A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.

People who speak carelessly
Proverbs25:20 – Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda.
Proverbs 26:18-19 - Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death, is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking.”

Quarrelsome
Proverbs 26:21 – As charcoal to hot embers and wood to a fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.

People who isolate themselves
Proverbs 18:1 - Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgement.

Unreliable people
Proverbs 25:19 – Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips.

Angry and hot-tempered people
Proverbs 22:24-25 – Make no friendship with a man given to anger, no go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
Proverbs 15:18 – A hot-tempered man stirs up strife.

Greedy people
Proverbs 23:6-7 Do not eat the bread of a man who is stingy; do not desire his delicacies, for he is like one who is inwardly calculating. Eat and drink he says to you, but his heart is not with you.

Prideful people
Proverbs 13:10 - Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise.

Friends to pursue:

Trustworthy people
Proverbs 11:13 - Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.

Truthful people
Proverbs 27:6 - Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Those who give wise counsel
Proverbs 27:9 - Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.

Someone who avoids fights
Proverbs 20:3 – It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarrelling.

Those who have pure hearts and gracious speech
Proverbs 22:11 - He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend.

Someone with a good reputation
Proverbs 22:1 - A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.

Someone who does good
Proverbs 3:27 - Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.

Someone who makes you better
Proverbs 27:17 - Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

People with a gracious attitude
Proverbs 17:9 - Whoever covers and offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.
1 Peter 4:8 – Love covers a multitude of sins.

Sensible people
Proverbs 19:11 - Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

Loyal people
Proverbs 17:17 – A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

The message about friendship in Proverbs is about influence.

Proverbs 12:26 - One who is righteous is a guide to is neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Friendship is connected to the command to “go and make disciples” in such an inextricable way that if we miss it, we miss the joy of making disciples in the same way that Jesus made disciples.

Luke 6:40 - “A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher.”

Luke 4:14-16
14 And Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit to Galilee, and a report about him went out through all the surrounding country. 15 And he taught in their synagogues, being glorified by all. 16 And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up. And as was his custom, he went to the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and he stood up to read.

John 3:22
After this Jesus and his disciples went into the Judean countryside, and he remained there with them and was baptizing.

Luke 9:1-2
1 And he called the twelve together and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, 2 and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal.

John 15:15
No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

Other New Testament examples of this kind of disciplemaking:

The Early Church
Acts 2:42- And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.

The Apostle Paul
1 Thessalonians 2:8 - So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.

If you want to be the kind of friend and have the kind of friendships we see in Scripture, you’ll need 3 things:

1. Godly character
2. Time with
3. Disciplemaking intentionality