Last week we went over tough love as we walked through 1 Corinthians 8

and learned that We don’t help our brothers and sisters stumble

This week we continue our series: Tough love

Before we dive to far into our message hear this:

1. God has a message for you not the person that is not here.

2. Let God speak to you not me.

3. If God asks you to live differently today do something about it. Remember that little changes are what creates growth in Jesus.

Sex in marriage honors God.

If there was one thing that we could say the world loves to share and talk about what would it be?

Sex

If the church could not talk about at least one topic right now in our world at the top of the list?

Sex

1 Corinthians 7:1-16 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

What constitutes marriage?

1. Marriage by law

Romans 13:1-2 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.

The world says this is what married looks like: Certificate

Tough Part: Marriage to the world can be ended like voiding a contract

Do we have to have a certificate because our government says we do? Yes

2. Marriage by consummation

Genesis 2:24-25 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

God says that marriage looks like: Covenant

Loving Part: God wants your covenant (sex) to last a life time

What does a godly sex life look like?

According to sociologist Bradley Wright of the University of Connecticut, Christians who attend church regularly have a divorce rate of 38%.

1.Moral Sex

1 Corinthians 7:3-4 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.

Godly sex only happens between a man and a woman

What it speaks against:

Pornography

Prostitution

Promiscuity

Partners

Perversion

Questions that should be asked:

Does this honor God?

Does this honor my spouse?

2. Maintenance Sex

1Corinthians 7:4-5 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another.

Godly sex happens routinely

What it speaks against:

Using sex as a weapon or a negotiation tool

Questions that should be asked:

Am I being intentional with sex?

Am I using it as a weapon over my spouse?

3. Ministry Sex

1 Corinthians 7:5 except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you

God wants you to protect your marriage by having sex

What it speaks against:

Prolonging the time between sex unless agreed upon allows Satan to enter in

Questions that should be asked:

Is there a time coming that could produce temptation?

Has it been to long and are we talking about it?

4. Magical Sex

Song of Songs

Godly sex should be enjoyable

What it speaks against:

When it comes to sex Christians are prudes

The Wheatley report analyzed survey data from 11 countries, including the United States, and its findings suggest that religious “dosage” (the level of a couple’s religious involvement) can play a role in reported sexual satisfaction. According to the analysis, moderately religious women were 50% more likely to report being sexually satisfied in their relationship than women with no religious practice. However, women in highly religious relationships (couples who pray together, read scripture at home, and attend church, etc.) were twice as likely as their secular peers to say they were satisfied with their sexual relationship. And the men in these couples were fully four times as likely to report being sexually satisfied as men in relationships with no religious activity. -Institute of Family Services

Questions that should be asked:

Ask your spouse what you could be doing better?

Share your experience about sex with them?

1 Corinthians 7:6-9 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Truth is it is better for you to be single

Singleness is not a curse, it is a blessing

Better to get married then to have sex outside of marriage

Staying a virgin matters till your married women 4% and men 6%-Institute of family studies

1 Corinthians 7:10-16 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Those without a believing spouse should still be godly

God allows for divorce if an unbelieving spouse wants out because of your love for Jesus