Creekside Church, Sunday, October 23, 2022
Always Trust Your Feelings!?
Locations & Times
Creekside Church
660 Conservation Dr, Waterloo, ON N2J 3Z4, Canada
Sunday 9:00 AM
Sunday 10:30 AM
Myth #2 – Always trust your feelings
The myth of emotional reasoning and confirmation bias.
---
Gen 3:6
6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
1 Kings 12:3-11
3 So they sent for Jeroboam, and he and the whole assembly of Israel went to Rehoboam and said to him: 4 “Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but now lighten the harsh labor and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you.”
5 Rehoboam answered, “Go away for three days and then come back to me.” So the people went away.
6 Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. “How would you advise me to answer these people?” he asked.
7 They replied, “If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants.”
8 But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. 9 He asked them, “What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, ‘Lighten the yoke your father put on us’?”
10 The young men who had grown up with him replied, “These people have said to you, ‘Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter.’ Now tell them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. 11 My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.’”
Proverbs 12:15
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
Proverbs 14:12
There is a way that seems right to a man,
but its end is the way to death.
---
Rider and the Elephant
In the book the Coddling of the American mind the authors give an illustration that the mind is divided into several parts that sometimes are in conflict with one another. Like a small rider sitting a top an elephant.
The rider represents conscious or “controlled” processes—the language-based thinking that fills our conscious minds and that we can control to some degree.
The elephant represents everything else that goes on in our minds, the vast majority of which is outside of our conscious awareness.
The rider-and-elephant metaphor captures the fact that the rider often believes he is in control, yet the elephant is vastly stronger, and tends to win any conflict that arises between the two.
Emotional reasoning is the cognitive distortion that occurs whenever the rider lets the elephant lead, and then later rationalizes his decisions.
What we want to learn to do is to recognize when the elephant is taking control and learn to talk back to it so that we can work in harmony rather than in conflict.
---
Three Decisions to Overcome the myth of "Always Trust Your Feelings"
#1 - Choose to Investigate our feelings
2 Cor 10:4-6
4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 6 And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.
We have a divine power to take every thought captive and make it obey Jesus.
Some common cognitive distortions
(Lukianoff, Greg; Haidt, Jonathan. The Coddling of the American Mind (p. 37). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.)
EMOTIONAL REASONING: Letting your feelings guide your interpretation of reality. “I feel depressed; therefore, my marriage is not working out.”
CATASTROPHIZING: Focusing on the worst possible outcome and seeing it as most likely. “It would be terrible if I failed.”
OVERGENERALIZING: Perceiving a global pattern of negatives on the basis of a single
incident. “This generally happens to me. I seem to fail at a lot of things.”
DICHOTOMOUS THINKING (also known variously as “black-and-white thinking,” “all-or-nothing thinking,” and “binary thinking”): Viewing events or people in all-or-nothing terms. “I get rejected by everyone,” or “It was a complete waste of time.”
MIND READING: Assuming that you know what people think without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. “He thinks I’m a loser.”
LABELING: Assigning global negative traits to yourself or others (often in the service of dichotomous thinking). “I’m undesirable,” or “He’s a rotten person.”
NEGATIVE FILTERING: You focus almost exclusively on the negatives and seldom notice the positives. “Look at all of the people who don’t like me.”
DISCOUNTING POSITIVES: Claiming that the positive things you or others do are trivial, so that you can maintain a negative judgment. “That’s what wives are supposed to do—so it doesn’t count when she’s nice to me,” or “Those successes were easy, so they don’t matter.”
BLAMING: Focusing on the other person as the source of your negative feelings; you refuse to take responsibility for changing yourself. “She’s to blame for the way I feel now,” or “My parents caused all my problems.”
---
Simple way to "Take your Thoughts Captive"
Write down:
- What you’re feeling
- Level of distress you feel
- What happened
- Cognitive distortion?
- Consider counter argument to your
thoughts
- Re-evaluate - write down new thoughts
- Level of distress you feel
---
# 2 - Choose to trust an authority source outside of yourself.
Post-modern/Post Truth culture – We’ve given up on truth being knowable. The best you can get is something that makes you happy.
In Christianity, the truth is a person we learn to trust.
John 7:23-24
23 Now if a boy can be circumcised on the Sabbath so that the law of Moses may not be broken, why are you angry with me for healing a man’s whole body on the Sabbath? 24 Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.”
Will you submit to Jesus?
Do you ever do what doesn’t feel right? Doesn't make sense?
---
# 3 - Decide that learning requires discomfort.
Is it okay for you to be uncomfortable?
Jesus makes people uncomfortable as part of their discipleship.
John 14:25-27
25 “All this I have spoken while still with you. 26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
---
Elijah in the Cave - 1 Kings 19
Believe that he wants to set you free…
Listen for the still small voice…pulling you to truth…to trust…
The myth of emotional reasoning and confirmation bias.
---
Gen 3:6
6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
1 Kings 12:3-11
3 So they sent for Jeroboam, and he and the whole assembly of Israel went to Rehoboam and said to him: 4 “Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but now lighten the harsh labor and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you.”
5 Rehoboam answered, “Go away for three days and then come back to me.” So the people went away.
6 Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. “How would you advise me to answer these people?” he asked.
7 They replied, “If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants.”
8 But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. 9 He asked them, “What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, ‘Lighten the yoke your father put on us’?”
10 The young men who had grown up with him replied, “These people have said to you, ‘Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter.’ Now tell them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. 11 My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.’”
Proverbs 12:15
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
Proverbs 14:12
There is a way that seems right to a man,
but its end is the way to death.
---
Rider and the Elephant
In the book the Coddling of the American mind the authors give an illustration that the mind is divided into several parts that sometimes are in conflict with one another. Like a small rider sitting a top an elephant.
The rider represents conscious or “controlled” processes—the language-based thinking that fills our conscious minds and that we can control to some degree.
The elephant represents everything else that goes on in our minds, the vast majority of which is outside of our conscious awareness.
The rider-and-elephant metaphor captures the fact that the rider often believes he is in control, yet the elephant is vastly stronger, and tends to win any conflict that arises between the two.
Emotional reasoning is the cognitive distortion that occurs whenever the rider lets the elephant lead, and then later rationalizes his decisions.
What we want to learn to do is to recognize when the elephant is taking control and learn to talk back to it so that we can work in harmony rather than in conflict.
---
Three Decisions to Overcome the myth of "Always Trust Your Feelings"
#1 - Choose to Investigate our feelings
2 Cor 10:4-6
4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 6 And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.
We have a divine power to take every thought captive and make it obey Jesus.
Some common cognitive distortions
(Lukianoff, Greg; Haidt, Jonathan. The Coddling of the American Mind (p. 37). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.)
EMOTIONAL REASONING: Letting your feelings guide your interpretation of reality. “I feel depressed; therefore, my marriage is not working out.”
CATASTROPHIZING: Focusing on the worst possible outcome and seeing it as most likely. “It would be terrible if I failed.”
OVERGENERALIZING: Perceiving a global pattern of negatives on the basis of a single
incident. “This generally happens to me. I seem to fail at a lot of things.”
DICHOTOMOUS THINKING (also known variously as “black-and-white thinking,” “all-or-nothing thinking,” and “binary thinking”): Viewing events or people in all-or-nothing terms. “I get rejected by everyone,” or “It was a complete waste of time.”
MIND READING: Assuming that you know what people think without having sufficient evidence of their thoughts. “He thinks I’m a loser.”
LABELING: Assigning global negative traits to yourself or others (often in the service of dichotomous thinking). “I’m undesirable,” or “He’s a rotten person.”
NEGATIVE FILTERING: You focus almost exclusively on the negatives and seldom notice the positives. “Look at all of the people who don’t like me.”
DISCOUNTING POSITIVES: Claiming that the positive things you or others do are trivial, so that you can maintain a negative judgment. “That’s what wives are supposed to do—so it doesn’t count when she’s nice to me,” or “Those successes were easy, so they don’t matter.”
BLAMING: Focusing on the other person as the source of your negative feelings; you refuse to take responsibility for changing yourself. “She’s to blame for the way I feel now,” or “My parents caused all my problems.”
---
Simple way to "Take your Thoughts Captive"
Write down:
- What you’re feeling
- Level of distress you feel
- What happened
- Cognitive distortion?
- Consider counter argument to your
thoughts
- Re-evaluate - write down new thoughts
- Level of distress you feel
---
# 2 - Choose to trust an authority source outside of yourself.
Post-modern/Post Truth culture – We’ve given up on truth being knowable. The best you can get is something that makes you happy.
In Christianity, the truth is a person we learn to trust.
John 7:23-24
23 Now if a boy can be circumcised on the Sabbath so that the law of Moses may not be broken, why are you angry with me for healing a man’s whole body on the Sabbath? 24 Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.”
Will you submit to Jesus?
Do you ever do what doesn’t feel right? Doesn't make sense?
---
# 3 - Decide that learning requires discomfort.
Is it okay for you to be uncomfortable?
Jesus makes people uncomfortable as part of their discipleship.
John 14:25-27
25 “All this I have spoken while still with you. 26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
---
Elijah in the Cave - 1 Kings 19
Believe that he wants to set you free…
Listen for the still small voice…pulling you to truth…to trust…