How does God expect us to structure our family? What does a goody structured family look like? Let me give you some instant relief: He doesn’t expect perfection.

There isn’t a single family in the Bible God used that didn’t have some serious issue.
Abraham/Sarah - take my servant, created Ishmael
Joseph - sold into slavery
David - completely overlooked at the anointing party
Joseph/Mary - a scandal!

You may not think so, but God absolutely wants to use your family to move the Kingdom! To do this, we have to be sure our structures are good, that they are godly. God may have worked within brokenness in families,
but that move always started with a family member who was willing to be godly.

That’s why this series, so we can develop and build upon structures.

There are some structural ground rules that have to be mentioned if we are going to get godly structure right in our family.

Let me give you a structural ground rules here:
- Get the Core Right

Mark 10:6-9 But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

This is God’s original design for marriage, and the root unit of a family. This is the foundational structure for a family. Does that mean if you are a single parent in here that there’s no hope? Of course not, but it does mean that God’s plan, his design, is man and woman, husband and wife, leading the family.

This is not only man and woman, but doing this thing right in every aspect.
Getting married rather that living together. Abandoning selfishness and pride so you can deal with issues. Not letting your families of origin dictate your marriage. Making sure Jesus REALLY is the center of your marriage.

WHY?
Jesus was quoting Genesis 1 and 2 that Mark 10 passage above.
There is a BLESSING that comes with God’s structure for marriage

Genesis 1:27-28 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them.

You cannot expect God’s blessing when the core isn’t right.

Structural Ground Rules
- Be Equally Yoked
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?

What does this mean? Like two oxen pulling a cart, you can’t have one strong and one weak or else there are issues.

Amos 3:3 How can two walk together unless they agree?

How can you have a godly structure in your family without godliness between you two?

What do I do if I am in this situation?
- honor God above all else
- as it is up to you live at peace
- do not let your spouse sour your relationship with God
- let your life with Christ shine
- pray for your spouse
- do what you can to get them in godly environments

I would never tell someone to get out of a marriage unless there were biblical reasons, and there are only three: adultery, abuse, abandonment.
God is always looking to restore even in these situations.

Focus on the Family
How can you follow a Master who demands absolute allegiance if you choose to become “one flesh” with a person who ignores His truth?

Why is this so important?
You have a purpose, your spouse has a purpose, but you two together have a purpose as well. Plus, you are responsible for the kids that might be produced from that union.

Structural Ground Rules
- Be a Godly Family

Verses
Proverbs 11:29 Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Ephesians 5:22-23 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

One more for the wives to their men:
1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

One more for the fellas:
Proverbs 21:9 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

What does a godly family do?
We could say a ton of things, but let’s just wrap it altogether with this definition:

A godly family reflects the nature of the kingdom of God in the course of everyday life.

Do that!

So those are just a few ground rules. Not a comprehensive list, but a good start today.

So when it comes to structure in our family, there are three things I want to highlight that will make or break that structure. But before we begin that, if you are not where you need to be with God, you cannot expect godliness to flow into your home, especially you men. You set the tone and if your tone is counter to the sound of heaven, you will miss heaven in your family. What you are sowing you are always going to reap!

Three Points that will make or break structure in your family. You have to:

1. Prioritize the right things
Improper prioritization just might be the worst thing you can do in your family. The best way for satan to destroy a generation is to take their fathers away. It isn’t always absent fathers who aren’t present, but also present fathers who are absent. A dad who is there but doesn’t care is worse than a dad that isn’t there at all.

Fellas, there is not greater legacy you will leave than with your kids. Businesses, hobbies, things, come and go, but your family is where your legacy lies. For those with no kids, you can have spiritual kids.

Some tips for prioritization:

- Identify the most important things.
When you make the wrong things the most important things, the result is the wrong things ruining the most important things.

So what are the most important things to you?
How to determine that?
- List out the things that are important in your life.
- Then start putting a line through the things you could live without.
- What should remain on your list are those things that you couldn’t imagine living without.
- Those are the most important things.
- If you’re still stuck, ask your kids what they think are the most important things to you.

Now, are those things the most important things in God’s structure?
What are the most important things to God?
- You and him.
- You and your spouse.
- You and your kids.
- You and everyone/everything else.

- Determine the path for your family.

Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 1:1-3 Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers, but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.

The path is highlighted in God’s Word. This is why the word in your life is so important! How can you know the path if you are not reading the map?!?!

What path is your family on right now?
If you don’t like the path, is it you or the map? Is it the right map? Are you following it?

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
- This requires you have a specific path of training you are following.

Proverbs 4:26 Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.
- Don’t just react. THINK, CONSIDER.

- Lead your family.

James 2:14-17 What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.Why is this?

The works are the evidence of the faith. The works don’t save you, but they show that faith has taken hold of your heart and life, and now changes are happening because of that faith.

The same thing goes for leading your family. Wishful thinking will not create the culture you want in your home. You have to model it.
You have to not just speak it, but do it. Talk is so cheap. People will give their word and leave you hanging. ACTION is what it takes. Toby Keith said it best - A little less talk…

Issues
My family seems in chaos.
- Well, is your life in chaos?

My family doesn’t engage with God like they should
- Are you?

My kids are twisting off.
- Have you been investing faith and relationship into them? Or have extracurricular activities taken center stage?

My spouse and I are having problems.
- First, welcome to marriage - it is HARD!
- Are you working at it?
- Are you asking if you are wrong as much as you are accusing them of being wrong?
- Have you been willing to meet in the middle?
- Have you put their needs over your own?
- Are you watering your own grass or are you drooling over grass somewhere else?
- The grass over there ain’t better. You just haven’t been taking care of yours.

God isn’t a priority at my house.
- What you prioritize your family will produce. If you don’t like the produce, check the seeds you’re planting.

Steven Covey
The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.

God says it like this:
Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

If you haven’t yet, write a set of core values for your family. Let those values determine your priorities.

At Freedom, our values determine what we do.
Jesus Is Our Message
People Are Our Priority
Development is our Focus
Unity Is Our Pursuit
Team Is Our Structure
Excellence Is Our Standard
Generosity Is Our Privilege

Three Points that will make or break structure in your family. You have to:

2. Choose who you will serve
Joshua 25:15 ...if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

You have a choice on who you will serve. You have lots of choices, and they are all gods of some sort. Either the one true God, or a variety of gods that fit your sinful craving. Those gods could be money, your kid, your identity, others’ acceptance of you, etc.

In our context today, let me give you two more choices: Either God's plan for your family, or the enemy’s plan.

What are the differences?

God’s Plan:

Deuteronomy 28:1-15 “And if you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. 2 And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. 3 Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the field. 4 Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock. 5 Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl. 6 Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out.

7 “The Lord will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before you. They shall come out against you one way and flee before you seven ways. 8 The Lord will command the blessing on you in your barns and in all that you undertake. And he will bless you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. 9 The Lord will establish you as a people holy to himself, as he has sworn to you, if you keep the commandments of the Lord your God and walk in his ways. 10 And all the peoples of the earth shall see that you are called by the name of the Lord, and they shall be afraid of you. 11 And the Lord will make you abound in prosperity, in the fruit of your womb and in the fruit of your livestock and in the fruit of your ground, within the land that the Lord swore to your fathers to give you. 12 The Lord will open to you his good treasury, the heavens, to give the rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hands. And you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow. 13 And the Lord will make you the head and not the tail, and you shall only go up and not down, if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God, which I command you today, being careful to do them, 14 and if you do not turn aside from any of the words that I command you today, to the right hand or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them.

Satan’s Plan:
What your family has been in the past.
What your family of origin is, be that broken, poor, addicts, abusers, etc.
What evil has been perpetrated against you.
What lies have been spoken over you.
Hopelessness that it will never ever change.

Romans 12:9-12 …you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.) And Christ lives within you, so even though your body will die because of sin, the Spirit gives you life because you have been made right with God. The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.
Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do.

What does this mean?
YOU HAVE A NEW FAMILY AND A NEW FAMILY TREE! You are NOT subject to who your family of origin has been. You are bought with the blood of Jesus. You are led by the Spirit of the Living God. You don’t walk in a curse from the enemy in your family. You walk in the blessing of your Father in Heaven! You were not saved to recreate the sins of your ancestors. You have been redeemed for relationship and to leave a legacy of godliness!

YOU GET TO CHOOSE THIS DAY WHO YOU WILL SERVE!

You will serve either the gods of your ancestry or the living God! Either who you family has been, or the only God who can help your family become all God created it to be.

Choose this day!

Every single day is an opportunity to repeat what your family has been or create a new legacy, a new cycle, a new life. If your family cycle is anything other than God’s best, it is time to break the cycle and step into God’s best.

Three Points that will make or break structure in your family. You have to:

3. Fight
Do you REALLY think satan is going to sit back and let you have this awesome godly family? If you haven’t learned yet, the more steps towards godliness you take, the more your disrupt the kingdom of darkness. But don’t worry. Jesus has overcome! However, you’d better learn how to war in the spirit.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ

Warring in the Spirit - more churchy language? How bro?!?!?

- Start praying - you gotta get your mind right.
It isn’t the person, place, or thing - it is the enemy. Not every situation is the devil. Sometimes your bad decisions or things you’re allowing are helping the enemy gain ground. That is why prayer is where you need to start.
God will shine light on what is going on so you can either correct, or go to step 2.

- Get on your armor - you gotta get protected.
Ephesians 6:11-18 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.

Basically, clothe yourself in Christ. This doesn’t just mean recite this list, but live this list.

Salvation from where you think
Righteousness from where your heart beats
Truth from where you reproduce
Peace for where you’re walking
Faith to endure what is coming to against you
The Word, both offensive and defensive to fight and protect
And Prayer to keep you focused in the fight

- Go on the offensive - you gotta get vocal.
Speak the Word of God. Stand on God’s promises. Address the issues.

Proverbs 6:30-31 - Enemy caught stealing

Plead the Blood over your family
Hebrews 10:19-23 Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.

Speak life over your family
Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongueSpeak things as if they were!
You serve a God who can call things into existence that do not exist!

- Trust God
Remember, you are fighting a war that is spiritual. We don’t fight from a place of defeat, but of victory, knowing God has won the war.

Then why the fight? He wants to drag as many as possible down with him.

Jeremiah 17:7-8
Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.

Of all the Trust God verses in the Bible, this is the one. When you’re enduring the heat, the drought, the attack, your roots go deep, and your stance is sure, and even in the attack, your bear fruit. But you gotta trust him!

Structure is so important in your family. It isn’t enough to just hope for the best. Godly family requires you to evaluate your family, identify issues, submit to the Lord and each other, work at it, trust the structure.

And in you, to surrender to Jesus, live by the spirit, lead with authority and integrity, choose faithfulness every day, model what you want to see in your family.

So here’s my question for you today:

How’s the family?

I believe there is an anointing today for God to answer specific prayers concerning your family. Take a moment and ask your Father in Heaven, specifically. What do you want him to do?

I surrender myself and my family to you.

What is the Holy Spirit saying to you through this message?