Citywide Baptist Church

Once there was a king who decided to check on his servants' accounts. He had just begun to do so when one of them was brought in who owed him millions of dollars.
The servant did not have enough to pay his debt, so the king ordered him to be sold as a slave, with his wife and his children and all that he had, in order to pay the debt.
The servant fell on his knees before the king. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay you everything!'
The king felt sorry for him, so he forgave him the debt and let him go.
Then the man went out and met one of his fellow servants who owed him a few dollars. He grabbed him and started choking him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he said.
His fellow servant fell down and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back!'
But he refused; instead, he had him thrown into jail until he should pay the debt.
When the other servants saw what had happened, they were very upset and went to the king and told him everything.
So he called the servant in. 'You worthless slave!' he said. 'I forgave you the whole amount you owed me, just because you asked me to.
You should have had mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you.'
The king was very angry, and he sent the servant to jail to be punished until he should pay back the whole amount."
And Jesus concluded, "That is how my Father in heaven will treat every one of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

References:
Phillip Yancey – “What’s so amazing about Grace”
Lewis B Smedes – “Forgive and Forget: Healing the hurts we don’t deserve”
Ray Pritchard – Keep Believing Ministries: Total Forgiveness
Simon Wiesenthal – “The Sunflower”

Forgiveness lies at the core of the gospel.
“Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.”
- C. S. Lewis

Forgiveness is a truly Christian virtue.

Eugene Peterson (The Message) puts it this way, “Love … doesn’t keep score of the sins of others.” Love doesn’t keep score because love has a bad memory. It finds a way to forget the sins of others.

“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”― Lewis Smedes

Forgiveness is difficult in part because we do not understand it properly.
So, what can we say that forgiveness is? Let’s look again at that last line of Matthew 18 v 35.

Forgiveness is essentially a matter of the heart.

This is important because most of us think forgiveness is primarily about what we do or what we say. But it is quite possible to mouth kind words of forgiveness while harbouring anger and bitterness within.

Forgiveness begins in the heart and eventually works its way outward.
There is a profound sense in which all forgiveness, even forgiving someone who hurt you deeply, is between you and God. Other people may or may not understand it, or recognize it, or own up to their need to receive it.

Forgiveness is a decision made on the inside to refuse to live in the past.

Three Levels of Forgiveness
Lewis Smedes says there are three levels of forgiveness.
1) We must rediscover the humanity of the person who hurt us. That simply means that we admit that they are sinners just like we are sinners.
2) We must surrender our right to get even. In the end, we must leave all judgment in the hands of a just and merciful God.
3) We must revise our feelings toward the other person giving up our hatred and letting go of our bitterness.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis Smedes.

Forgiveness is not an optional part of the Christian life.
It is a necessary part of what it means to be a Christian.

If we are going to follow Jesus, we must forgive. We have no other choice.

And we must forgive as God has forgiven us—freely, completely, graciously, totally. The miracle we have received is a miracle we pass on to others.

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude.” - Martin Luther King

We will forgive to the extent we appreciate how much we have been forgiven.
The best incentive to forgiveness is to remember how much God has already forgiven you.

Think of how many sins he has covered for you.

Think of the punishment you deserved that did not happen to you because of God’s grace.

Your willingness to forgive is in direct proportion to your remembrance of how much you have been forgiven.

“The glory of Christianity is to conquer by forgiveness.” - William Blake

And then we need courage. The timid will never forgive. Only the brave will forgive.

Only the strong will have the courage to let go of the past.

Prayer:
May God soften our hearts to hear the truth. And may God give us courage to do the hard thing and let go of our bitterness, give up our anger, turn away from our resentment, stop keeping score, and enter the miracle of total forgiveness.
Grant that we may discover the freedom that comes from being great forgivers. Break the chain of remembered hurts that binds us to the past.
Lord, we want to do it, but we lack the courage. Show us what we must do and then give us the courage to do it. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Small Group Questions:
1) What is your experience of forgiveness? Are some things beyond forgiveness?

2) Is there someone in your life whom you need to forgive? What is keeping you from forgiving that person?

3) Is there someone in your life that you need to ask for forgiveness? What is keeping you from seeking that person out and confessing to them?

4) Lewis Smedes says: “Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” Do you agree, or should we never forget?

5) What are the benefits or detriments of forgiving? For yourself, for the other, for the community? How might this affect your relationship with God?