Calvary Church
My Marriage is Shaky
Main Idea: Understanding agape love is the key to a strong marriage.
Locations & Times
Calvary Church
4700 53rd St, Moline, IL 61265, USA
Sunday 8:30 AM
Sunday 10:30 AM
1. The Meaning of LOVE
The Greeks had a variety of words for love. They have the word EROS, meaning physical and sexual attraction and fulfillment.
Another dimension of love in the Greek is called PHILEO. This love has to do with friendship and companionship.
We can have both of these kinds of love and still not APPROACH what the Bible means by love that makes marriages work the best.
The third word in the Greek is AGAPE. This word is used to describe a kind of love that operates under God’s principles.
AGAPE love in the confines of marriage is a COMMITMENT on the part of each married partner to be predominantly concerned for the WELL-BEING of the other—even when one is displeasing and may not respond appropriately.
Agape love is the result of the Holy Spirit operating within our lives, but it’s also the result of making a definite commitment to TARGET somebody with agape love and PURSUE loving them relentlessly.
Sometimes good people who do NOT understand the WORK that it takes to have a real marriage have allowed their marriage to DECLINE into a mutual toleration pact.
2. Love’s BEHAVIOR
“Love is patient” This means love suffers long and is SLOW to anger.
Real love makes us VULNERABLE. This is why many people do not love and will not commit themselves. Many people want to ENJOY eros without any sense of commitment at all.
“Love is kind” A GENEROSTIY of spirit in marriage works wonders.
“Love is not jealous” There are different KINDS of jealousy. There’s a holy jealousy committed to PROTECTING that which is dear.
There is a jealousy that goes beyond protecting and becomes POSSESSIVE.
“Love is not boastful.” The language of boasting is the language of INSECURITY.
“Love is not proud” It’s interesting to notice in Scripture that of all the bad things, God reserves some of His greatest CRITICISMS for pride.
God says, “Pride do I hate.” Why? Pride is the essence of “ME-ISM.” Pride is me shoving God off His sovereign throne and installing myself.
“Love is not rude” Rudeness BELITTLES people. If it goes on long enough, rudeness DESTROYS people.
“Love does not demand its own way” This is also called self-seeking. Self-seeking goes to all lengths to GAIN my interests and priorities at the EXPENSE of your interests and priorities.
“Love is not irritable” Irritability, which is a VIOLENT reaction against something that hurt us cannot possibly be the FRUIT of love.
If I truly love the person who’s HURT me, I’m more likely to be concerned about what made them ACT like that?
“Love does not keep records of wrong” How often in marriages do we hear people getting into a FIGHT and they begin to bring up all the things in the PAST.
If we continue to REHEARSE in our own minds what went wrong, we’ll find ourselves resenting what went wrong.
“Love does not rejoice about injustice” There is something unfortunate in each of us that has an interest in EVIL. We know that because we can IMAGINE evil in other people.
If we begin to imagine evil, assume evil and look for evil, we’re going to REJOICE when we find it.
“Love rejoices whenever the truth wins out” When two people are committed to TRUTHFULNESS in their marriage, honesty begins to be celebrated and trust is EARNED.
“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” Love is PREPARED to give the partner the benefit of the doubt over and over again.
The net result is that “Love will last forever” Or, as I learned this verse, “Love NEVER fails” That does not mean love always SUCCEEDS. What it means is that love keeps on keeping on.
3. Developing MARITAL Love
Four things are necessary
1) There has to be a DESIRE to love
1) There has to be a DESIRE to love
Four things are necessary
1) There has to be a DESIRE to love
2) There has to be a DECISION to love
1) There has to be a DESIRE to love
2) There has to be a DECISION to love
Four things are necessary
1) There has to be a DESIRE to love
2) There has to be a DECISION to love
3) There has to be a DEDICATION to go on loving
1) There has to be a DESIRE to love
2) There has to be a DECISION to love
3) There has to be a DEDICATION to go on loving
Four things are necessary
1) There has to be a DESIRE to love
2) There has to be a DECISION to love
3) There has to be a DEDICATION to go on loving
4) There has to be a spiritual DIMENSION of God’s love in our hearts
1) There has to be a DESIRE to love
2) There has to be a DECISION to love
3) There has to be a DEDICATION to go on loving
4) There has to be a spiritual DIMENSION of God’s love in our hearts
Talk About It
Discussion Questions:
1. What does the word love generally mean to you?
2. Did you need this message to help define the God kind of love that is talked about in 1 Corinthians 13? If so, can you name and define three kinds of love in the Greek?
3. Why is it that a Godly love has more to do with a decision than a feeling?
Next Step:
If you’re in a marriage or desire to be married someday, go through the checklist of 1 Corinthians 13 and talk about areas that need to be worked on in your life and write down and discuss things that need improvement.
1. What does the word love generally mean to you?
2. Did you need this message to help define the God kind of love that is talked about in 1 Corinthians 13? If so, can you name and define three kinds of love in the Greek?
3. Why is it that a Godly love has more to do with a decision than a feeling?
Next Step:
If you’re in a marriage or desire to be married someday, go through the checklist of 1 Corinthians 13 and talk about areas that need to be worked on in your life and write down and discuss things that need improvement.