Grace World Outreach Church
Pastor Daniel K Norris
Greetings from Grace World
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2 Samuel 15:1-14 ESV
TALE OF THREE KINGS - ABSALOM
Mastering the spirit of offense
15:2 And Absalom used to rise early and stand beside the way of the gate. And when any man had a dispute to come before the king for judgment, Absalom would call to him and say, “From what city are you?” And when he said, “Your servant is of such and such a tribe in Israel,” 3 Absalom would say to him, “See, your claims are good and right, but there is no man designated by the king to hear you.” 4 Then Absalom would say, “Oh that I were judge in the land! Then every man with a dispute or cause might come to me, and I would give him justice.” 5 And whenever a man came near to pay homage to him, he would put out his hand and take hold of him and kiss him. 6 Thus Absalom did to all of Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
(2 Sa 15:1–14)
Jesus said Every one of us will be given the opportunity to master the spirit of offense. And we must, because to fail to master your offense is to become mastered by it.
Matthew 18:6–7 (NKJV)
6 “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. 7 Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!
The story of Absalom is a story of the spirit of offense, and particularly powerful as Absalom’s offense was rooted in a wound from his own father.
Father’s provide three key foundations…
IDENTIFICATION
AFFIRMATION
VALIDATION
When a father wounds us, those foundations are struck. You lose your sense of identity, you feel unloved or unwanted, and you lose your sense of purpose. For Absalom, he responded by taking what wasn’t his.
Absalom is Different From Jezebel
Jezebel is subtle || Absalom is overt
Jezebel is patient || Absalom is inpatient
Jezebel wants power || Absalom wants revenge
Jezebel is rooted in lust || Absalom is rooted in offense
Jezebel married into royalty || Absalom was born royalty
Jezebel is overthrown || Absalom is self-condemned
Absalom was a legitimate son, with a legitimate claim to the throne and carried a legitimate offense. However, instead of addressing his offense through authority, he chose to usurp authority. Ultimately all “Absalom”s will find all offense leads to the same place, the tree of offense.
Several Examples in Scripture
Cain and Able (Gen 4:1-15)
Absalom and David (2 Sam 13-18)
Judas and Jesus (Matt 26:6-16)
Diotrephes and John (3 John 9-12)
David’s advice for an offended son or daughter
EVEN THE SMALLEST DECISIONS CARRY GREAT CONSEQUENCES
12 But who can discern their own errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then I will be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.
14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
(Ps 19:12–14)
David knew the consequences of not dealing with his first errors. The lack of peace in his own home was a consequence of his own sins.
You are always one thought away from thinking like the person you used to be
The key… May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight!
NOT EVERYTHING YOU WALK THROUGH WILL BE JUST, BUT YOUR RESPONSE MUST BE
For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!
Decisions Drive Towards Destiny!
Romans 12:19–21 (ESV)
19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
AN OFFENDED SPIRIT IS AN OPEN DOOR TO REBELLION
Proverbs 18:19 A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.
The Cycle of Offense
1) The Wound (real or perceived)
2) The Wound becomes infected with bitterness (unhealed)
3) Bitterness begins to leak out as Criticism (what is in the heart, comes out the mouth)
4) The Criticism begins to infect others
5) Division is born
Signs Of Offense
- You rehearse conversations
- You rerun the event in your mid
- You speak about, more than you speak to
- You are filled with negative emotions
- You snap easily
THE WOUND THAT ULTIMATELY KILLED ABSALOM WAS NOT THE LAST, IT WAS THE FIRST
Matthew 5:22–24 (ESV)
23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 6:14–15 (ESV)
14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
When is the best time to forgive someone? (You choose)
a) When they ask
b) When they’ve paid for their wrongs and made it right
c) After I’ve had time to process
d) As soon as I’m hurt
Remember Jesus cried out “Forgive them” as the nail was being driven into his hand!
How to deal with offense
Matthew 18:15–17 (ESV)
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.