What do people believe who have not accepted personal responsibility?
* It's not my fault I am the way I am.
* I never asked to be born.
* Now that you have me, what are you going to do with me?
* I want you to fix me.
* Life is unfair! There is no sense in trying to take control of my life.
* Why go on; I see no use in it.
* You can't help me; nobody can help me. I'm useless and a failure.
* God has asked too much of me this time. There is no way I'll ever be able to handle this.
* When do the troubles and problems cease? I'm tired of all this.
* Stop the world; I want to get off.
* Life is so depressing. If only I had better luck and had been born to a healthier family, or attended a better school, or gotten a better job, etc.
* How can you say I am responsible for what happens to me in the future? There is fate, luck, politics, greed, envy, wicked and jealous people, and other negative influences that have a greater bearing on my future than I have.
* How can I ever be happy, seeing how bad my life has been?
* My parents made me what I am today!
* The problems in my family have influenced who I am and what I will be; there is nothing I can do to change that.
* Racism, bigotry, prejudice, sexism, ageism, and closed-mindedness all stand in the way of my becoming what I really want to be.
* No matter how hard I work, I will never get ahead.
* You have to accept the luck of the draw.
* I am who I am; there is no changing me.
* No one is going to call me crazy, depressed, or troubled and then try to change me.
Terms used to describe those who have not accepted personal responsibility include martyrs, self-pitying, depressed, losers, quitters, chronically angry, dependent personalities, complainers, addictive personalities, blamers, stubborn, persons in denial, troubled people, stuck, fearful, pessimists, despondent, mentally unstable, obstinate, hostile, aggressive, irresponsible, weak, guilt-ridden, resistant to help, passive, irrational, insecure, neurotic, obsessed, and lost.
James J Messina, PhD, is a licensed psychologist