Pastors Joel and Patricia Gregory
The Gift Pt 3

Introduction:

A. Being single and being married are both gifts from God. One is NOT better than the other.

1 Corinthians 7:7 TLB
[7] I wish everyone could get along without marrying, just as I do. But we are not all the same. God gives some the gift of a husband or wife, and others he gives the gift of being able to stay happily unmarried.

Write that statement down and rehearse it to yourself whenever someone married or anyone says:

*You could find someone if you just…
*You’re too picky,
*You need to “get out there,”
*You should “try harder.”
*You need to “settle down already!”
*Everything happens for a reason..
*You just haven’t met the right person yet. (duh!)
*Why aren’t you in a relationship? (The person who is asking is really trying to flatter you with the suggestion that someone as gorgeous and wonderful and funny, etc., etc., as you should be in a relationship.)
*Someone equates relationships with happiness.
*They insinuate there must be something wrong with you if you’re not in a relationship.

B. God only gives “good and perfect” gifts.

James 1:17 NKJV
[17] Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.


C. Notice what Paul doesn't say in 1 Corinthians 7:7.

*"Singleness is awful and therefore here are 10 steps for finding a mate."

*Singleness is unfortunate so here are 7 ways to get yourself a life while waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right to come along.

D. Nor does he say.

*Singleness is so awesome and fulfilling that you don't need to be married (why would you want to be anyway?!)

E. If you have a strong and uncontrollably sex drive, Paul recommends marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:2 KJV
[2] Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:9 NKJV
[9] but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

5 truths about being single:

1. The difficulty and pressures of life.

1 Corinthians 7:26 NKJV
[26] I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress-that it is good for a man to remain as he is.

2. Trouble in the flesh.

1 Corinthians 7:27-28 NKJV
[27] Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. [28] But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.

Trouble- (thlipsis) in the greek in means pressure, to squeeze or press tightly, burdened.


3. The World’s Passing Away.

1 Corinthians 7:29-31 NKJV
[29] But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, [30] those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, [31] and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.

Matthew 24:38-39 NKJV
[38] For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, [39] and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be.


4. Singles can serve the Lord without distraction.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 NKJV
[32] But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord-how he may please the Lord. [33] But he who is married cares about the things of the world-how he may please his wife. [34] There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world-how she may please her husband. [35] And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.

To be "without carefulness" means to be free from care or anxiety.


5. Happily ever after.

1 Corinthians 7:39-40 NKJV
[39] A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. [40] But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment-and I think I also have the Spirit of God.

Matthew 19:10 NKJV
[10] His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."


Conclusion:

How do I know which gift I have?

Maybe you have been married and are now either divorced or widowed. Or maybe you’ve never been married. How do you know if you have “the gift?”

* If marriage is not a pressing necessity.
* If marriage is not a driving “need.”
* If you do not burn with that physical desire.

You have the “gift” and should consider remaining single because of the difficulty and pressures of life, the problems of the flesh, the passing of the world, the lack of distractions, and the permanence of the marriage.

If you feel being single is:

* Unfulfilling.
*. Uncomfortable.
* Very tempting.

Consider the great benefits of your current singleness and be the man or woman that God wants you to be and wait on Him to provide the answer to your prayers. But don't look down on singleness as if somehow it's a second-class life, it is not. 1 Cor 7 teaches us that one is not better than another. They are both good gifts.

The only thing that makes us less than what God would have us to be is not our marital status but our spiritual commitment. Whether married, single, divorced or widowed we should live for the glory of God.