Northlake Church | February 11, 2018 | Mike Garner
Colossians 3:12-17 | Week 14 | Submission and Love
Locations & Times
Northlake Church
3610 Lohman Ford Rd, Lago Vista, TX 78645, USA
Sunday 9:00 AM
Sunday 10:45 AM
Welcome to Northlake Church!
Welcome! We're glad that you found us! As you get to know us, you'll see that we are just like you, people learning what it means to follow Jesus in their everyday life. In order to take away some of the mystery of what happens on Sunday mornings around here, we've jotted down a few tips on visiting Northlake Church for the first time, click the link below to visit our website to get to know us a little better! We pray that today, you are encouraged, that you feel welcomed and that you are reminded just how much Jesus loves you!
http://www.mynorthlake.com/im-newOnline Giving
We believe all that we have comes from the gracious hand of our God. It's not ours to keep; we've been entrusted by Him to be good managers of all that He has given us. So we view the giving of our time, talents and resources to the Lord as an act of worship. Regarding the stewardship of our financial resources, there are several ways we can participate in worship through giving...physically giving at one of our Sunday Gatherings, via check or cash and digitally giving through our church app, our website, or clicking on the link below to access mobile giving. Give as the Lord leads you, not under guilt or compulsion, with a thankful heart. Thank you for worshiping God in this way and being a part of helping Northlake Church accomplish its purpose of making disciples who make disciples!
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COLOSSIANS 3:18-19 | Willing Submission and Loving Leadership
INTRODUCTION...
1. RECAP COLOSSIANS 3:20-21: Last week...Humble Obedience, Loving Authority | the next two weeks...Willing Submission, Loving Leadership
2. RELUCTANCE AND HESITATION: Today's scripture has been misunderstood and grossly misapplied and creates tension regarding the idea of Submission and Headship within the context of a christian marriage.
3. MY OWN FAILURES: I have been married for 30 years and a dad for 28 of those years. I have experienced first hand the failure as a dad to love and lead my children in a way that doesn't exasperate them and have experienced the failure as a husband to sacrificially love and serve my wife consistently to honor Jesus. I have strived to do those things but continually look back and see how I could have done things better, differently, with more grace and love and mercy...I think this is what all of us feel when we are challenged by God's word like we are by these verses.
4. WE DON'T GET TO SKIP IT: Sometimes I wish things were easier to understand in the Bible...but with verses like this, commands like this, I kind of wished they weren't spelled out so plainly! As a follower of Jesus, we are to heed his word and obey it. And to that end I pray all of us would listen and obey as God challenges us with his good and right word.
1. RECAP COLOSSIANS 3:20-21: Last week...Humble Obedience, Loving Authority | the next two weeks...Willing Submission, Loving Leadership
2. RELUCTANCE AND HESITATION: Today's scripture has been misunderstood and grossly misapplied and creates tension regarding the idea of Submission and Headship within the context of a christian marriage.
3. MY OWN FAILURES: I have been married for 30 years and a dad for 28 of those years. I have experienced first hand the failure as a dad to love and lead my children in a way that doesn't exasperate them and have experienced the failure as a husband to sacrificially love and serve my wife consistently to honor Jesus. I have strived to do those things but continually look back and see how I could have done things better, differently, with more grace and love and mercy...I think this is what all of us feel when we are challenged by God's word like we are by these verses.
4. WE DON'T GET TO SKIP IT: Sometimes I wish things were easier to understand in the Bible...but with verses like this, commands like this, I kind of wished they weren't spelled out so plainly! As a follower of Jesus, we are to heed his word and obey it. And to that end I pray all of us would listen and obey as God challenges us with his good and right word.
SCRIPTURE FOR TODAY...
COLOSSIANS 3:12-17 ESV (everyone)
12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
COLOSSIANS 3 ESV
-- 3:18 (wives)
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
--3:19 (husbands)
19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
EPHESIANS 5 ESV
-- 5:22-24 (wives)
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
-- 5:25-33 (husbands)
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
1 PETER 3 ESV
-- 3:1-2a (wives)
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
-- 3:7 (husbands)
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
COLOSSIANS 3:12-17 ESV (everyone)
12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
COLOSSIANS 3 ESV
-- 3:18 (wives)
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
--3:19 (husbands)
19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
EPHESIANS 5 ESV
-- 5:22-24 (wives)
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
-- 5:25-33 (husbands)
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
1 PETER 3 ESV
-- 3:1-2a (wives)
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
-- 3:7 (husbands)
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
GOD ESTABLISHED AUTHORITY AND SINFUL MAN ABUSED IT...
INITIAL EMOTIONAL REACTION...
“Submit”, “Head of wife”, “Love Sacrificially”...those are ugly words in our culture...Women submitting to men...men abusing women...#metoo...scripture uses these words...we don’t get to avoid it because it is difficult, hard to understand, or fit with my own personal feelings. God established the order of authority which includes LEADERSHIP, SUBMISSION and OBEDIENCE in the bible and we are to OBSERVE IT, obey it.
SCRIPTURE: 1 PETER 2:13-17 ESV
"13 Be SUBJECT for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, 14 or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. 15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. 16 Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. 17 Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor."
There are 4 major areas the Bible addresses in regards to authority:
1. Human Government (1 PETER 2)
2. Church Leadership (1 TIM 3, TITUS 1)
3. Employers and Employees (COL 3:22-25)
4. The Home (2 levels): A. Husbands and Wives B. Parents and Children (COL 3:18-19, 20-21, EPH 5:22-33, 1 PETER 3:1-2,7)
NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS...
Government: Egyptian midwives disobeyed Pharaoh and did not kill all baby boys saving Moses | Rahab did not obey King and turn in Hebrew spies sparing her family at the destruction of Jericho | Daniel did not bow to the idol or to the king and disobeyed the decree of the King
Employee/Employer: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who were servants of the king, all defied King Nebuchadnezzar and would not bow to the idol and were thrown into the fiery furnace...and were saved
Parent/Child: Jonathan disobeyed his father King Saul and did not kill David
Husband/Wife: Abigail disregarded the command of her husband Nabal to not provide provision to David and his men. God struck down her husband and saved her because of her desire to obey God over her husband
GOD IS OBEYED FIRST...
Authority can and will be abused by man. God's authority must be obeyed first. If there is a conflict between God's rules and man's...the christian man or woman or child must choose to obey God first.
INITIAL EMOTIONAL REACTION...
“Submit”, “Head of wife”, “Love Sacrificially”...those are ugly words in our culture...Women submitting to men...men abusing women...#metoo...scripture uses these words...we don’t get to avoid it because it is difficult, hard to understand, or fit with my own personal feelings. God established the order of authority which includes LEADERSHIP, SUBMISSION and OBEDIENCE in the bible and we are to OBSERVE IT, obey it.
SCRIPTURE: 1 PETER 2:13-17 ESV
"13 Be SUBJECT for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, 14 or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. 15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. 16 Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. 17 Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor."
There are 4 major areas the Bible addresses in regards to authority:
1. Human Government (1 PETER 2)
2. Church Leadership (1 TIM 3, TITUS 1)
3. Employers and Employees (COL 3:22-25)
4. The Home (2 levels): A. Husbands and Wives B. Parents and Children (COL 3:18-19, 20-21, EPH 5:22-33, 1 PETER 3:1-2,7)
NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS...
Government: Egyptian midwives disobeyed Pharaoh and did not kill all baby boys saving Moses | Rahab did not obey King and turn in Hebrew spies sparing her family at the destruction of Jericho | Daniel did not bow to the idol or to the king and disobeyed the decree of the King
Employee/Employer: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who were servants of the king, all defied King Nebuchadnezzar and would not bow to the idol and were thrown into the fiery furnace...and were saved
Parent/Child: Jonathan disobeyed his father King Saul and did not kill David
Husband/Wife: Abigail disregarded the command of her husband Nabal to not provide provision to David and his men. God struck down her husband and saved her because of her desire to obey God over her husband
GOD IS OBEYED FIRST...
Authority can and will be abused by man. God's authority must be obeyed first. If there is a conflict between God's rules and man's...the christian man or woman or child must choose to obey God first.
GOD CREATED MARRIAGE AND SIN CORRUPTED IT...
God created marriage, man and wife. It was his idea, it was beautiful, it was perfect, it had order, from the beginning. But SIN destroyed it. SIN ruined everything. Think about this for a moment…when SIN entered the world, SIN ruined the harmony of marriage, NOT because it brought headship and submission into existence, [sin didn’t create these two things, God did]
but...
SIN twisted man's humble, loving headship into...
1. hostile, abusive domination in some men and
2. lazy, disconnected indifference in others
SIN twisted woman's intelligent, willing submission into..
1. manipulative control in some women and
2. outright insubordination in others.
SIN didn't create HEADSHIP and SUBMISSION; it RUINED THEM and DISTORTED THEM and made them UGLY and DESTRUCTIVE.
God created marriage, man and wife. It was his idea, it was beautiful, it was perfect, it had order, from the beginning. But SIN destroyed it. SIN ruined everything. Think about this for a moment…when SIN entered the world, SIN ruined the harmony of marriage, NOT because it brought headship and submission into existence, [sin didn’t create these two things, God did]
but...
SIN twisted man's humble, loving headship into...
1. hostile, abusive domination in some men and
2. lazy, disconnected indifference in others
SIN twisted woman's intelligent, willing submission into..
1. manipulative control in some women and
2. outright insubordination in others.
SIN didn't create HEADSHIP and SUBMISSION; it RUINED THEM and DISTORTED THEM and made them UGLY and DESTRUCTIVE.
ORIGINAL INTENT...Equal in Value, Unique in Role
Men and Women were created in the image of God
-- Together, we are a more complete image bearers of God
-- We each represent character traits of God
-- Male and Female
Men and Women are...
-- Equally loved by God
-- Equally valued by God
-- Equally gifted by God
Men and Women have been given unique roles, particularly in marriage [As noted in Ephesians 5]
-- Husband is the head of the wife [NOT the head of women]
-- Wife is to submit to and respect her husband [NOT all men]
-- Husband is to love and care for his wife
-- Both Husband and Wife are to "submit to one another out of reverence to Christ" Ephesians 5:21
The Trinity is our example of loving headship and willing submission
The Father is the head, Jesus submits to the Father, the Spirit submits to the Father and Son. But all are equally God, one in essence, equally holy, equally loving, equally powerful…so HEADSHIP and SUBMISSION exists in the TRINITY and can be experienced in marriage (not at the same level obviously)…it is how God set it up to work best.
Genesis sets the stage for us concerning our roles
-- Marriage was God’s idea, not something we made up to fill the need for two people being in a relationship
-- Genesis 2:20-25 gives us the initial intention of God's plan. He created marriage and its boundaries and expectations, it was for his glory and our good.
Men and Women were created in the image of God
-- Together, we are a more complete image bearers of God
-- We each represent character traits of God
-- Male and Female
Men and Women are...
-- Equally loved by God
-- Equally valued by God
-- Equally gifted by God
Men and Women have been given unique roles, particularly in marriage [As noted in Ephesians 5]
-- Husband is the head of the wife [NOT the head of women]
-- Wife is to submit to and respect her husband [NOT all men]
-- Husband is to love and care for his wife
-- Both Husband and Wife are to "submit to one another out of reverence to Christ" Ephesians 5:21
The Trinity is our example of loving headship and willing submission
The Father is the head, Jesus submits to the Father, the Spirit submits to the Father and Son. But all are equally God, one in essence, equally holy, equally loving, equally powerful…so HEADSHIP and SUBMISSION exists in the TRINITY and can be experienced in marriage (not at the same level obviously)…it is how God set it up to work best.
Genesis sets the stage for us concerning our roles
-- Marriage was God’s idea, not something we made up to fill the need for two people being in a relationship
-- Genesis 2:20-25 gives us the initial intention of God's plan. He created marriage and its boundaries and expectations, it was for his glory and our good.
DON'T DISMANTLE SUBMISSION AND LOVE...RECOVER IT!
Now if this is true, then we should not DISMANTLE the original created order of LOVING HEADSHIP and WILLING SUBMISSION but we should RECOVER it REDEEM it from the ravages of SIN.
Now if this is true, then we should not DISMANTLE the original created order of LOVING HEADSHIP and WILLING SUBMISSION but we should RECOVER it REDEEM it from the ravages of SIN.
WILLING SUBMISSION DEFINED...
Submit, Respect
Col 3:18
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord”
Eph 5:22, 24, 33b
“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. [23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.] 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands….33b let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
1 Peter 3:1-2a
“1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
Pastor Sam Swords defines willing submission in this way...
* WHAT IT ISN'T:
1. Willing Submission is not Obedience | nowhere has God said “wives obey your husbands” | parent/child vs husband/wife very different relationships
2. Willing Submission is not inferiority | not less but equal | not less but different
3. Willing Submission does not mean a wife is obligated to follow her husband into sin | Jesus 1st
4. Willing Submission does not mean the wife must suppress her creative energy or adopt a passive approach to life in general | God created you, gifted you, wired you, personality, use it to God’s glory
5. Willing Submission does not mean being silent | you are equal, believe the best when in doubt confront in love | God speaks through you |
6. Willing Submission does not mean that everything a wife does must be directly dependent upon or connected to her husband | ok to join in on husbands ‘likes’ but you can have your own interests, hobbies, you are a person too
* WHAT IT IS:
1. Willing Submission is the disposition to honor and affirm a husband's authority and inclination to yield to his leadership | willing attitude and desire, won’t be perfect,
2. Willing Submission is fundamentally an attitude and act of obedience to Jesus | obey him first
3. Willing Submission is a commitment to support one's husband in such a way that he may reach his full potential as a man of God | you are helping him accomplish his responsibility to lead the family
* WIVES:
God has given you the sacred and weighty task of SUBMITTING to your husband. Let the broken, fallen, destructive view of submission be REDEEMED as you model it after God's original intent for your marriage…submit to your husband. Show the world, by your example, how Jesus willingly submitted to the Father because he loved them and show the Church how she should submit to Jesus in everything.
Submit, Respect
Col 3:18
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord”
Eph 5:22, 24, 33b
“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. [23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.] 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands….33b let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
1 Peter 3:1-2a
“1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
Pastor Sam Swords defines willing submission in this way...
* WHAT IT ISN'T:
1. Willing Submission is not Obedience | nowhere has God said “wives obey your husbands” | parent/child vs husband/wife very different relationships
2. Willing Submission is not inferiority | not less but equal | not less but different
3. Willing Submission does not mean a wife is obligated to follow her husband into sin | Jesus 1st
4. Willing Submission does not mean the wife must suppress her creative energy or adopt a passive approach to life in general | God created you, gifted you, wired you, personality, use it to God’s glory
5. Willing Submission does not mean being silent | you are equal, believe the best when in doubt confront in love | God speaks through you |
6. Willing Submission does not mean that everything a wife does must be directly dependent upon or connected to her husband | ok to join in on husbands ‘likes’ but you can have your own interests, hobbies, you are a person too
* WHAT IT IS:
1. Willing Submission is the disposition to honor and affirm a husband's authority and inclination to yield to his leadership | willing attitude and desire, won’t be perfect,
2. Willing Submission is fundamentally an attitude and act of obedience to Jesus | obey him first
3. Willing Submission is a commitment to support one's husband in such a way that he may reach his full potential as a man of God | you are helping him accomplish his responsibility to lead the family
* WIVES:
God has given you the sacred and weighty task of SUBMITTING to your husband. Let the broken, fallen, destructive view of submission be REDEEMED as you model it after God's original intent for your marriage…submit to your husband. Show the world, by your example, how Jesus willingly submitted to the Father because he loved them and show the Church how she should submit to Jesus in everything.