Facing Down the Fear of Criticism

Why People Remember Negative Events More…

Alina Tugend, "Praise Is Fleeting, but Brickbats We Recall: Why People Remember Negative Events More Than Positive Ones" The New York Times, March 23, 2012.

http://nyti.ms/2xVXRzn

1. I will accept the fact that…

1. I will accept the fact that criticism is inevitable.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Mother Teresa (1910–1997), was an Albanian-Indian Roman Catholic nun and missionary. In 1950 she founded the Missionaries of Charity, a Roman Catholic religious congregation which was active in 133 countries as of 2012. The congregation manages homes for people dying of HIV/AIDS, leprosy and tuberculosis; soup kitchens; dispensaries and mobile clinics; children's- and family-counselling programs; orphanages, and schools. Members, who take vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience, also profess a fourth vow, to give 'wholehearted free service to the poorest of the poor.' Wikipedia article.

http://bit.ly/29k9n9h

Matthew 11:19 NIV

John 8:47-48 NIV

Romans 3:23 NIV

For Reflection/Discussion: Think back on a time when you were criticized. How did it make you feel? How did you respond to it? How vividly do you remember it? What, if anything, did you take away from the experience?

2. I will understand that…

2. I will understand that not every criticism is deserved… but some of it is.

Proverbs 12:15 NIV

There will always be a lesson if we're willing to search for it.

Romans 8:28 NIV

It's hard to keep our perspective when we are being criticized.

Fear of Feedback

"Fears and assumptions about feedback often manifest themselves in psychologically maladaptive behaviors such as procrastination, denial, brooding, jealousy, and self-sabotage. But there’s hope. Those who learn to adapt to feedback can free themselves from old patterns. They can learn to acknowledge negative emotions, constructively reframe fear and criticism, develop realistic goals, create support systems, and reward themselves for achievements along the way."—Jay M. Jackman and Myra H. Strober, "Fear of Feedback" Harvard Business Review, April, 2013.

http://bit.ly/1FWRJEe

For reflection/discussion: In what ways, if any, does the fear of criticism affect your emotions, attitudes, actions, and decisions? What is the difference between fair and unfair criticism? What are some of the ways that both kinds of criticism can help us? Why is it so hard to keep our perspective when we are being criticized? What are some of the unhealthy ways people try to cope with criticism? What is your typical response to criticism?

3. I will learn to…

3. I will learn to listen to and weigh the criticism that comes my way.

James 1:5 NIV

How To Weigh Criticism

1. How was the criticism given?

2. When and where was the criticism given?

3. Who gave the criticism?

4. Does the criticism square with God, God's Word, and God's will?

Six Ways to Overcome the Fear of Criticism

"Not all criticizers are created equal, and some shouldn’t even have a seat at the table. Set criteria for those who make the cut, and mentally dismiss the rest. Mentors are a particularly good choice for those on the short list, because they can provide practice receiving criticism in a safe environment, making it a less frightening experience over time." —Scott Mautz, "Six Ways to Overcome the Fear of Criticism" Training Industry, August 9, 2017

http://bit.ly/2xUt0OE

7 Positive Ways You Can Respond to Criticism

"Listen to your critics. Learn what you can from them. Then forget about them and move on. If the criticism is useful, you have gained through the process. If it isn’t, you’ve been trained in the graces of patience and long-suffering. Either way, you’re better off than you were before. Don’t let them get you down. Keep moving forward. You’ve got important work to do." —Dr. Ray Pritchard, "Seven Positive Ways You Can Respond to Criticism" Crosswalk, October 23, 2013.

http://bit.ly/2yGmKxX

For reflection/discussion: How do you decide if a criticism is or isn't justified? Do you respond differently to criticism that you feel is fair, as opposed to criticism that is undeserved? In what way?

4. I will take care…

4. I will take care to share my critical thoughts and opinions constructively and sparingly.

Four Questions to Ask Before You Criticize Someone

1. Is it true?

2. Is it fair?

3. Is it helpful?

4. Is it necessary?

Ephesians 4:15 NIV

For reflection/discussion: How likely are you to offer feedback, critique, or criticize others? To what extent, if any, do you have a critical spirit? What questions should we ask ourselves before offering feedback to others?

Proverbs 29:25 NET