Broadwater Baptist Church
Sunday - 14/06/2020
Sermon June 14th 2020 - Vision 2020 Doing differently
Locations & Times
Broadwater Baptist Church
Dominion Rd, Worthing BN14 8JL, UK
Sunday 10:30 AM
Sermon June 14th 2020 - Vision 2020 Doing differently
You are able to follow the whole service via the youtube link below which includes prayers, songs, readings and ways that you can be a part of it all.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLm_8xewriMMG7XvJDZ-thD_AFjjt4AwyOIntroduction
In case you haven’t noticed forgiveness is important. For several Sundays recently it has featured and… so “Hands up who thinks forgiveness is a good idea? Hmmm, good, nice to see so many hands go up.
In our creed we say “We believe in the forgiveness of sins” and the first prayer most of us remember learning off by heart “Forgive us our sins as…”
C S Lewis said this “Every one, says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until there is something or someone to forgive”
What tends to happen is that we convince ourselves it is less important once we find we’re in a place where we are hurt and are now required to forgive.
The parable of the unforgiving servant, no guessing what that is about then, not really subtle is it, doesn’t start with the story but with a question, from who else, Peter, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Now has he got a problem he wants Jesus to settle for him? Has he been wronged? Is he looking for some justification?
Earlier in chapter 18 verses 15-17 Jesus has given a simple instruction when someone sins against you. “If one of my followers sins against you, go and point out what was wrong. But do it in private, just between the two of you. If that person listens, you have won back a follower” and so, I think this is playing on Peter’s mind and so he’s wanting a little more guidance on the matter.
Jesus, as He does so often, doesn’t quite give Peter the answer he probably wants. Hence Peter’s idea that, “ surely Lord, 7 times is enough”, and Jesus says, “not by any stretch, Peter, 70x7, maybe” so essentially Jesus is saying, many many many more times than you were thinking Peter.
To hammer the point home, Jesus then tells the story of a lord or king who wants to settle his accounts. And those are the proper words to use “to make a reckoning with”or “settle accounts” I think Jesus uses this word so we can see what can first come between us and our forgiveness of others “Settle”... We think there are rifts to settle, arguments ro settle, hurts to settle and countless scores to settle before forgiveness can happen.
Having “Scores” to settle when it comes to forgiveness is about mathematics by the way but before we go there, let’s first deal with some ways we shy away from forgiving. How we disguise our unforgiveness.
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In case you haven’t noticed forgiveness is important. For several Sundays recently it has featured and… so “Hands up who thinks forgiveness is a good idea? Hmmm, good, nice to see so many hands go up.
In our creed we say “We believe in the forgiveness of sins” and the first prayer most of us remember learning off by heart “Forgive us our sins as…”
C S Lewis said this “Every one, says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until there is something or someone to forgive”
What tends to happen is that we convince ourselves it is less important once we find we’re in a place where we are hurt and are now required to forgive.
The parable of the unforgiving servant, no guessing what that is about then, not really subtle is it, doesn’t start with the story but with a question, from who else, Peter, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Now has he got a problem he wants Jesus to settle for him? Has he been wronged? Is he looking for some justification?
Earlier in chapter 18 verses 15-17 Jesus has given a simple instruction when someone sins against you. “If one of my followers sins against you, go and point out what was wrong. But do it in private, just between the two of you. If that person listens, you have won back a follower” and so, I think this is playing on Peter’s mind and so he’s wanting a little more guidance on the matter.
Jesus, as He does so often, doesn’t quite give Peter the answer he probably wants. Hence Peter’s idea that, “ surely Lord, 7 times is enough”, and Jesus says, “not by any stretch, Peter, 70x7, maybe” so essentially Jesus is saying, many many many more times than you were thinking Peter.
To hammer the point home, Jesus then tells the story of a lord or king who wants to settle his accounts. And those are the proper words to use “to make a reckoning with”or “settle accounts” I think Jesus uses this word so we can see what can first come between us and our forgiveness of others “Settle”... We think there are rifts to settle, arguments ro settle, hurts to settle and countless scores to settle before forgiveness can happen.
Having “Scores” to settle when it comes to forgiveness is about mathematics by the way but before we go there, let’s first deal with some ways we shy away from forgiving. How we disguise our unforgiveness.
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Are we aware of unforgiveness in our lives?
Do we feel we have “scores” to settle?
Have you ever thought there were limits to forgiveness?
Do we feel we have “scores” to settle?
Have you ever thought there were limits to forgiveness?
Distraction (Look at this)
One way we use to justify our not forgiving someone is by distraction. Look at what I’m doing. Look at all the good I’m doing for the church, community, the vulnerable.
We don’t really want to see two people who, apart, are great at doing things that are good in and of themselves, yet cannot bear to be in the same room together. Who don't even speak the other's name or share any time because of some conflict from the past. So they use the distraction of doing, so they can say “I am not the problem” “ this is not a problem” yet the truth is there is unforgiveness.
Disappear (Avoidance)
The next way we use to not entertain any chance of forgiving someone is to disappear. To avoid. Here we try to take the high moral place and we use the phrase “ I can no longer be a part of…” and we leave. Whether it is a small group, an organisation or a church, the outcome is just the same, avoidance of having to forgive someone for something.
The high moral place is very lonely, very dangerous and quite frankly very tiring. There never seems to be any company on the knife edge that is the moral high ground because our ideal becomes more important than God’s and no one can reach those heights. And it is a knife edge in that it is SOOO easy to fall off it and injure ourselves and it’s lonely because there is no one around to pick us up and tend to our wounds. The effort required to be that good is very tiring indeed and very quickly we find ourselves, no longer christians but pharisees.
Dismissal (Exceptions)
The third reason we use to hide our unforgiveness is dismissing or using our own exceptions. So we use language such as “It's too heinous..” whether against us personally or to the wider world. Or “if I keep forgiving them doesn’t it give them licence to carry on behaving that way” and there is also the fear that if we do approach someone they may only turn round and say “What do I need to be forgiven for? I haven’t done anything wrong”
There are exceptions when it comes to forgiveness which we will come to later. But I warn you it isn't what you think.
No limits
What Jesus is saying to Peter, the disciples and us, when he talks about 70 x 7 is that forgiveness has no limit. In the words of the great philosophical thinker Buzz of the lightyear, forgiveness is “to infinity and beyond”
Jesus then goes on to highlight this in the parable. The servant of the king owed 10,000 talents. Here’s some maths but there will be more to come ;-) 1 talent = 6000 denarii (1 denar was the daily wage for a labourer on an 8 hr shift) so 1 single talent was worth around 20 years of work. 1 single talent was 20 years and the servant owed 10,000. So the number Jesus used really did amount to infinity and beyond. Well beyond any comprehension the disciples might have had about what could be forgiven.
The amount owed by the fellow servant however was 100 silver coins, about a day's wages and the response was very different indeed.
God has said there are no limits to the forgiveness shown towards us, no limits to His forgiveness towards others, so when we use these disguises for our unforgiveness. Use distraction, disappear and dismissal “How dare we feel above God and put limits to whether others deserve our forgiveness or not”
--------------------------------------------------
One way we use to justify our not forgiving someone is by distraction. Look at what I’m doing. Look at all the good I’m doing for the church, community, the vulnerable.
We don’t really want to see two people who, apart, are great at doing things that are good in and of themselves, yet cannot bear to be in the same room together. Who don't even speak the other's name or share any time because of some conflict from the past. So they use the distraction of doing, so they can say “I am not the problem” “ this is not a problem” yet the truth is there is unforgiveness.
Disappear (Avoidance)
The next way we use to not entertain any chance of forgiving someone is to disappear. To avoid. Here we try to take the high moral place and we use the phrase “ I can no longer be a part of…” and we leave. Whether it is a small group, an organisation or a church, the outcome is just the same, avoidance of having to forgive someone for something.
The high moral place is very lonely, very dangerous and quite frankly very tiring. There never seems to be any company on the knife edge that is the moral high ground because our ideal becomes more important than God’s and no one can reach those heights. And it is a knife edge in that it is SOOO easy to fall off it and injure ourselves and it’s lonely because there is no one around to pick us up and tend to our wounds. The effort required to be that good is very tiring indeed and very quickly we find ourselves, no longer christians but pharisees.
Dismissal (Exceptions)
The third reason we use to hide our unforgiveness is dismissing or using our own exceptions. So we use language such as “It's too heinous..” whether against us personally or to the wider world. Or “if I keep forgiving them doesn’t it give them licence to carry on behaving that way” and there is also the fear that if we do approach someone they may only turn round and say “What do I need to be forgiven for? I haven’t done anything wrong”
There are exceptions when it comes to forgiveness which we will come to later. But I warn you it isn't what you think.
No limits
What Jesus is saying to Peter, the disciples and us, when he talks about 70 x 7 is that forgiveness has no limit. In the words of the great philosophical thinker Buzz of the lightyear, forgiveness is “to infinity and beyond”
Jesus then goes on to highlight this in the parable. The servant of the king owed 10,000 talents. Here’s some maths but there will be more to come ;-) 1 talent = 6000 denarii (1 denar was the daily wage for a labourer on an 8 hr shift) so 1 single talent was worth around 20 years of work. 1 single talent was 20 years and the servant owed 10,000. So the number Jesus used really did amount to infinity and beyond. Well beyond any comprehension the disciples might have had about what could be forgiven.
The amount owed by the fellow servant however was 100 silver coins, about a day's wages and the response was very different indeed.
God has said there are no limits to the forgiveness shown towards us, no limits to His forgiveness towards others, so when we use these disguises for our unforgiveness. Use distraction, disappear and dismissal “How dare we feel above God and put limits to whether others deserve our forgiveness or not”
--------------------------------------------------
Can you imagine the numbers Jesus uses to describe the forgiveness of God?
Be honest, have used any of these “disguises” to hide your unforgiveness?
What might you need to do to change that?
Be honest, have used any of these “disguises” to hide your unforgiveness?
What might you need to do to change that?
Who suffers more from unforgiveness?
Do we really know God’s grace, mercy and forgiveness if we cannot forgive?
Are you suffering because you cannot or will not forgive? What can you do about that?
Do we really know God’s grace, mercy and forgiveness if we cannot forgive?
Are you suffering because you cannot or will not forgive? What can you do about that?
Punishment
However some of us may have picked up on the eventual situation the first servant found themselves in? The servant who doesn’t quite do what was expected once they were forgiven.
v34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
A bit harsh don’t you think? A tiny bit disproportionate? Well, remember this is parable not a theological treatise. So we shouldn’t be too prescriptive when it comes to these words. However I do think there is punishment, or consequences, for those who do not forgive.
So let's ask ourselves, who actually suffers when we do not forgive? Who is it that is punished by our unforgiveness? Who suffers more, us or the other? Take a moment… How long do you want? Another 10 mins...I can wait, I’m happy to be on pause, I’m not going anywhere. OK?
The one who suffers the most is the one who cannot, or will not, forgive. Think about it, I do not know if any of you hold anything against me or cannot forgive me for something. BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW. How can I know? It’s you that has a problem. Secondly and I generalise here, I am a man, which means the likelihood of me picking up on your subtle signals of disapproval are quite frankly NIL, NADA, NOUGHT, it’s never going to happen.
I’m not angry or frustrated or self righteous about it BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW. I am not the one who’s anger etc has cut me off from God, from His grace and the joy and peace that comes from that relationship. Who suffers more?
And if you pluck up enough courage to tell me and still do not forgive me. It still makes no difference to me. In fact, if you do not forgive me, I am more likely not to respond favourably and accept my need for forgiveness from you. When I do accept then we can be reconciled. If reconciliation happens everyone wins. With the former YOU don’t win. Do we really know and experience God’s grace, mercy and forgiveness if we cannot forgive?
I was told this story many years ago from a prison chaplain who thought he knew what forgiveness was until this happened. One of the most dangerous prisoners they had had come to faith in a very dramatic way and it was shown most clearly in his actions and words. Everyone was amazed, intrigued and some a little scared.
The prisoner was the head of the largest gang in the prison and because of his reputation they were terrifying and they were able to control large parts of the prison. One of his fellow prisoners, you couldn’t call him a friend but a member of the gang, the group that the former prisoner was a part of, decided something needed to be done to reinstate that fear so they arranged to attack him in the kitchen. To reinforce their will on the prison. So a group of them grabbed the guy and held his face in a giant pan of hot soup, off and on for 5 mins.
The prisoner was rushed to hospital and spent 3 months recovering. Although he received reconstructive surgery to his face he was still horribly disfigured. Now in normal circumstances any prisoner who the authorities felt was in danger would be moved to another prison. However this prisoner demanded to be returned, not only to the same prison, but the same cell of the man who orchestrated the attack. Well, of course, because of his former reputation they didn’t trust him so he was taken back to the same prison but not the same cell. The two prisoners did eventually meet and as the former leader marched up to him, the second man began to step back and clench his fists ready for what was to come. But instead of attacking him the disfigured prisoner took hold of him, looked him in the eye and said “I forgive you”. Those three words, those 11 letters, changed both their lives in ways we cannot imagine.
--------------------------------------------------
However some of us may have picked up on the eventual situation the first servant found themselves in? The servant who doesn’t quite do what was expected once they were forgiven.
v34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
A bit harsh don’t you think? A tiny bit disproportionate? Well, remember this is parable not a theological treatise. So we shouldn’t be too prescriptive when it comes to these words. However I do think there is punishment, or consequences, for those who do not forgive.
So let's ask ourselves, who actually suffers when we do not forgive? Who is it that is punished by our unforgiveness? Who suffers more, us or the other? Take a moment… How long do you want? Another 10 mins...I can wait, I’m happy to be on pause, I’m not going anywhere. OK?
The one who suffers the most is the one who cannot, or will not, forgive. Think about it, I do not know if any of you hold anything against me or cannot forgive me for something. BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW. How can I know? It’s you that has a problem. Secondly and I generalise here, I am a man, which means the likelihood of me picking up on your subtle signals of disapproval are quite frankly NIL, NADA, NOUGHT, it’s never going to happen.
I’m not angry or frustrated or self righteous about it BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW. I am not the one who’s anger etc has cut me off from God, from His grace and the joy and peace that comes from that relationship. Who suffers more?
And if you pluck up enough courage to tell me and still do not forgive me. It still makes no difference to me. In fact, if you do not forgive me, I am more likely not to respond favourably and accept my need for forgiveness from you. When I do accept then we can be reconciled. If reconciliation happens everyone wins. With the former YOU don’t win. Do we really know and experience God’s grace, mercy and forgiveness if we cannot forgive?
I was told this story many years ago from a prison chaplain who thought he knew what forgiveness was until this happened. One of the most dangerous prisoners they had had come to faith in a very dramatic way and it was shown most clearly in his actions and words. Everyone was amazed, intrigued and some a little scared.
The prisoner was the head of the largest gang in the prison and because of his reputation they were terrifying and they were able to control large parts of the prison. One of his fellow prisoners, you couldn’t call him a friend but a member of the gang, the group that the former prisoner was a part of, decided something needed to be done to reinstate that fear so they arranged to attack him in the kitchen. To reinforce their will on the prison. So a group of them grabbed the guy and held his face in a giant pan of hot soup, off and on for 5 mins.
The prisoner was rushed to hospital and spent 3 months recovering. Although he received reconstructive surgery to his face he was still horribly disfigured. Now in normal circumstances any prisoner who the authorities felt was in danger would be moved to another prison. However this prisoner demanded to be returned, not only to the same prison, but the same cell of the man who orchestrated the attack. Well, of course, because of his former reputation they didn’t trust him so he was taken back to the same prison but not the same cell. The two prisoners did eventually meet and as the former leader marched up to him, the second man began to step back and clench his fists ready for what was to come. But instead of attacking him the disfigured prisoner took hold of him, looked him in the eye and said “I forgive you”. Those three words, those 11 letters, changed both their lives in ways we cannot imagine.
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Oh I’m sorry
Oh I’m sorry. Words synonymous with the british and particularly the english and particularly those in the south Often meaningless. We say sorry when someone bumps into us. How many of us say “Excuse me” when we are the one who has been slighted? Often it becomes a duel of politeness, a race to see who can get the completely unneeded apology in, or it can bat from one to the other “Oh excuse me” “ no I’m sorry” “ I think I was the one who…” “sorry” “sorry”...
Although you can’t excuse real hurt, can you? You can excuse the unintentional. And often our unforgiveness is bound up by the unintentional. Often what we are holding on to and what is hurting us, is the unintentional hurt someone has done to us. What can be eating us up and stopping us experiencing God’s love, grace, peace and mercy was the unintentional action of someone who really didn’t know or certainly didn't mean to and would be quick to say a proper apology if only they knew. Some are better than others at unintentionally saying or doing something... COME ON NOW HONESTY IS REQUIRED WHO’S BEEN HERE? You may imagine where I’m going with this? Intentional hurt requires forgiveness and until we have the conversation with the other “It will fester”
If we forgive them then WE will be able to move on and grow. We would be able to rebuild a relationship with the other and both will benefit from it. There is a story of a wife who had held so much unforgiveness over so many years in her marriage that she didn't even say a thing at her husband's funeral and contributed very little to the celebration of his life at the wake. A few months later she returned to the graveside to view the gravestone that she had commissioned. She looked at it with some satisfaction and smiled at what and been written “Gerald, gone but not...forgiven”
Mathematics of forgiveness
From the very start of these verses from Matthew 18, maths has figures heavily when it comes to forgiveness. Peter asks, is 7 times enough? Well Jesus say when it comes to forgiveness No it’s not enough. When it comes to God and forgiveness, Infinity and beyond is not even close.
The servant is, at first, required to pay back an absolute fortune, 20 x 10,000 years worth.. But when he is forgiven, he goes on to damn himself by going in heavy handed to retrieve a single day's worth of debt from someone else.
If we have “scores” to settle, who is it then, that has to count the cost of unforgiveness?
There are no limits to forgiveness, only unforgiveness asks us to count the cost. It is us who suffer the consequences. When we do not forgive we not only become...“Less and less” but unforgiveness makes us see others as less than ourselves.
Our unforgiveness makes our horizons “Narrower and narrower” and not as wide as God wants us to experience. And our experiences of love, grace, mercy, joy and peace become “Smaller and smaller” and unless we see that, we can never know and live this life to its fullest.
You see, forgiveness is about numbers, about the crossbeign the cost it took to pay for it. It's about the infinite capacity of God’s love to show forgiveness to us and the great life we can ALL lead if only we are willing to add it all up and decide that unforgiveness only ever puts us in the red.
Let’s pray
Oh I’m sorry. Words synonymous with the british and particularly the english and particularly those in the south Often meaningless. We say sorry when someone bumps into us. How many of us say “Excuse me” when we are the one who has been slighted? Often it becomes a duel of politeness, a race to see who can get the completely unneeded apology in, or it can bat from one to the other “Oh excuse me” “ no I’m sorry” “ I think I was the one who…” “sorry” “sorry”...
Although you can’t excuse real hurt, can you? You can excuse the unintentional. And often our unforgiveness is bound up by the unintentional. Often what we are holding on to and what is hurting us, is the unintentional hurt someone has done to us. What can be eating us up and stopping us experiencing God’s love, grace, peace and mercy was the unintentional action of someone who really didn’t know or certainly didn't mean to and would be quick to say a proper apology if only they knew. Some are better than others at unintentionally saying or doing something... COME ON NOW HONESTY IS REQUIRED WHO’S BEEN HERE? You may imagine where I’m going with this? Intentional hurt requires forgiveness and until we have the conversation with the other “It will fester”
If we forgive them then WE will be able to move on and grow. We would be able to rebuild a relationship with the other and both will benefit from it. There is a story of a wife who had held so much unforgiveness over so many years in her marriage that she didn't even say a thing at her husband's funeral and contributed very little to the celebration of his life at the wake. A few months later she returned to the graveside to view the gravestone that she had commissioned. She looked at it with some satisfaction and smiled at what and been written “Gerald, gone but not...forgiven”
Mathematics of forgiveness
From the very start of these verses from Matthew 18, maths has figures heavily when it comes to forgiveness. Peter asks, is 7 times enough? Well Jesus say when it comes to forgiveness No it’s not enough. When it comes to God and forgiveness, Infinity and beyond is not even close.
The servant is, at first, required to pay back an absolute fortune, 20 x 10,000 years worth.. But when he is forgiven, he goes on to damn himself by going in heavy handed to retrieve a single day's worth of debt from someone else.
If we have “scores” to settle, who is it then, that has to count the cost of unforgiveness?
There are no limits to forgiveness, only unforgiveness asks us to count the cost. It is us who suffer the consequences. When we do not forgive we not only become...“Less and less” but unforgiveness makes us see others as less than ourselves.
Our unforgiveness makes our horizons “Narrower and narrower” and not as wide as God wants us to experience. And our experiences of love, grace, mercy, joy and peace become “Smaller and smaller” and unless we see that, we can never know and live this life to its fullest.
You see, forgiveness is about numbers, about the crossbeign the cost it took to pay for it. It's about the infinite capacity of God’s love to show forgiveness to us and the great life we can ALL lead if only we are willing to add it all up and decide that unforgiveness only ever puts us in the red.
Let’s pray
Prayer
Heavenly Loving Father, thank you that your love and forgiveness is infinite and way beyond anything I can imagine.
For the price of it borne by Jesus on the cross.
For the hurt I carry, for the way I am paying the cost of my own unforgiveness.
I ask, Holy Spirit, bring peace to my relationships and the courage to do what it takes to mend those relationships I have broken.
To no longer be in the red when it comes to my life being…
…”less than it could be”...
For the…”narrowness of my horizons”…
And the … “smaller I become” when I pay for the unforgiveness I hold close.
Lord Jesus, help me to not hide or disguise my unforgiveness but see that I too can experience and give, the forgiveness that is beyond anything I can imagine and see truly the payment is not mine but yours.
Amen
Heavenly Loving Father, thank you that your love and forgiveness is infinite and way beyond anything I can imagine.
For the price of it borne by Jesus on the cross.
For the hurt I carry, for the way I am paying the cost of my own unforgiveness.
I ask, Holy Spirit, bring peace to my relationships and the courage to do what it takes to mend those relationships I have broken.
To no longer be in the red when it comes to my life being…
…”less than it could be”...
For the…”narrowness of my horizons”…
And the … “smaller I become” when I pay for the unforgiveness I hold close.
Lord Jesus, help me to not hide or disguise my unforgiveness but see that I too can experience and give, the forgiveness that is beyond anything I can imagine and see truly the payment is not mine but yours.
Amen