I Peter 3:1-7

“How To Get A New Husband or Wife”

Introduction

1. Would you like to have a new husband or wife?

2. I Peter 3:1-7 don’t seek a new mate. Allow God to change you.

Would you like to have a new husband or wife? Allow God to change you.

I. REALITY 3:1-6 (Wife)

A. Change of Authority 1

What if my partner isn’t saved or is saved, but doesn’t fulfill his responsibility?

1.In the same manner is also repeated in v. 7 for the husband. These point back to

(2:18 and 2:23). Submission is to yield up your right in love. Since it is addressed to both, there is a mutual submission. Submission is seen in our submission to the Lord and the Lord’s submission to the Father. This has to do with order and authority.

2.Slaves in many ways were superior to their masters (doctors, teachers, accountants, etc.). They still were under the authority of their masters. Christ yielded up His rights and submitted to the Father. Husbands and wives must be partners not competitors.

3.The husband has been given the place of leadership. If final decisions are to be made, yield up your rights in love. Why is this so important? If there is no direction, all differences must be settled by arguing. God says, “Yield up your rights in love, let me handle your husband.”

4.Without a word…this means no tricks, devices, no pouting or sulking, manipulating

or sexual bargaining.

5. May be won…his eternal destiny is in view.

*It’s the character and conduct of the wife that will impress the lost husband.

*Husbands will not be won by arguing, but by the fruit of the Spirit.

*If there are unsaved or insensitive husbands in your home, they will be won more

by what they see than what you say. Be Patient!!

B. Change of Appearance 3,4

Don’t get caught up on the external and miss the internal.

1.Roman women were captivated by the latest fashions, hairdos, expensive jewelry

and clothes. They lived to impress. Today, many raise their children like this. You are somebody because of what you have not that which is of great value to God (v. 4).

2.“If I imitate the world I will impress my mate.” Don’t place all of your emphasis on

the exterior. Appearance is important, but don’t neglect what really matters. There is no reason a Christian wife can’t be as attractive as possible: Husbands don’t want to come home to one who looks like an unmade bed with the smell of Lysol behind each ear. Clean the house…organize…put things away. If you are having a hard time with this…get someone to help you.

*Don’t just stop with the exterior...major on that which lasts.

*A beauty that comes from the heart cannot be bought in a store.

*Fashion is artificial, true beauty is internal.

*Fashion, style is something a person can put on and take off, true beauty is always

present.

*Fashion decays and fades, true beauty becomes more wonderful as the years pass.

*God is concerned about values not prices…a beauty that comes from the heart

cannot be bought in a store. As they observe…they see it!

C. Change of Attitude 2,4

Let God do His work inside so Christ is seen!!

1.A Chaste lifestyle…it is a lifestyle of purity and faithfulness.

2.Coupled with respect and reverence…Don’t run your husband down before the world. Don’t belittle him in front of the children or your friends.

3.What attitude does God consider important? 4

*Meek is not weak, but strength under control. She does not fight God or others.

*Quiet spirit is not pushy or self-centered.

*Great value to God…it takes a little time to doll up the exterior, the cultivating of

the hidden man is a lifelong process. Only God can do it!

D. Change of Attention 5,6

The holy women of God had this attire.

1.Obeyed…don’t get your bun in a bunch. It means, Pay close attention to… attending to the needs of others.

2. Don’t get so wrapped up in doing for others that you miss the needs of your husband.

This takes knowing him. Show him respect. If I did that he’d take advantage of me!

God will honor your love and response. He says, Trust Me!

Would you like to have a new husband or wife? Allow God to change you.

II. RESPONSIBILITY 3:7 (Husband)

Peter gets to the bottom line: You are to help make your wife what God wants her to be. This

can be done in 4 ways:

A. Companionship ‘Dwell with them”

1. Dwell…you say, I do. We have the same bed, table, bathroom. Dwell means deep

togetherness, to be at home with, close companionship.

2.Watch providing a living instead of sharing a life. One survey revealed that the average husband and wife had 37 minutes a week together in actual communication.

She married you, not your paycheck. Set aside a block of time every day for her and

at least one evening a week.

B. Consideration ‘According to knowledge’ Know your wife!

1. Know her moods, feelings, needs, fears, hopes...be open, honest, and in love.

2. Know her disappointments, her scars, her struggles… Every person is worth

knowing. There must be a willingness to be involved.

3. If your marriage is eroding:

a. Your wife is a person who longs to be understood and accepted.

b. Your wife wants to know you care enough to take the time.

c. It’s not what she’s saying, it’s what she is feeling.

C. Courtesy ‘Honor your wife as a choice vessel’

“To assign” What place have you assigned for your wife? Is she precious?

1. Does she know it?

2. Do you do those things that show her you really want to be close to her?

3. Are you thoughtful? How long has it been...“How can I help you?”

4. Do you give them a hand when you see them struggling?

D. Communication ‘Together...heirs of eternal life.’

1. Spiritually sharing together do you share spiritual things?

2. Prayers be not hindered…When things aren’t right in the home…nothing’s right.

It’s hard to pray when communication lines are down at home.

Where do we start? Be honest...based on Peter’s words:

1. Are we partners or competitors?

2. Are we depending on the externals...the artificial or the real?

3. Are we helping each other to become more Christlike?

4. Do we understand each other better?

5. Are we sensitive to each others’ feelings and ideas or are we taking each other for granted?

6. Are we seeing God answer prayer?

7. Are we enriched because of our marriage, or are we robbing each other of God’s blessing?

Am I willing to adjust my life?